Bite!
by manusxmachina
Summary: Ichigo Kurosaki is an uptight clinician who really should be having more fun with his life. One night, he manages to seduce a powerful vampire into sharing his bed with him... And now she claims that they're married! Perhaps his days as the boring clinician of Karakura Town are numbered. IchiRuki
1. Bitten

Ichigo Kurosaki doesn't party.

He hates parties. These superficial social gatherings were just an excuse for guests to overindulge in hedonistic behaviour that would only be damaging in the long run. Ichigo wasn't the type of guy to want to invest his time in anything meaningless. He owned a small emergency clinic in Karakura Town which he inherited from his father, and had been running the damn thing since graduating from university. That was about... Uh... Six years ago now? He had about two years until he hit the big three-zero, so that sounded about right.

 _Anyway._

Ichigo Kurosaki wasn't a fuckboy. Never would be. He never went to these stupid things.

So what the fuck was he doing fucking around in this stupid fucking party?

'Hey, Ichigo!' Renji Abarai, host of the evening and delinquent extraordinaire, greeted his friend from the other side of the living room. The heavily tatted redhead made his way across the floor, clicking his tongue at a couple of hoodlums playing catch with an expensive-looking vase. When he managed to finally make it to Ichigo, he took his buddy in a brotherly embrace and motioned to the makeshift bar on the coffee table. 'What're you doing without a drink, boy?!'

'Grow up.' the clinician growls back, pushing Renji off of him gently. 'Peer pressure's immature.'

'Oh, come on.' he frowned. 'I just wanna make sure you're having a good time. That scowl of yours needs to disappear now and again. Your face might get stuck that way, you know.'

'Don't care.'

'Well, you should care. I mean damn, maybe that's what's scaring all the ladies away-'

'Ok, enough.'

'Rukia!' Renji called out, distracted by a glimpse of someone he knew passing by. 'Rukia!' he motioned for this person to come closer, though Ichigo was too busy shaking his head at the floor to look up and see who exactly it was. Once he finally stopped sulking, he took a deep breath to ready himself to greet whoever it was that Renji had beckoned over.

Ichigo stiffened.

He wasn't expecting a short woman in an impeccably white dress. She didn't look a day over eighteen at most. She appeared out of place amidst the chaos of the house party.

'This is Rukia.' Renji grinned proudly. 'We've been friends for a really long time now. Since we were little.'

'Oh.' Ichigo raised his brows. 'You never mentioned her before.'

'She's, uh... Not from here. So, uh, yeah.'

The orange-haired hothead had been friends with Renji since their freshman year at university. Renji dropped out after their junior year, but they remained close friends anyway. In all that time, Renji had failed to mention this supposedly super special girl.

It's just, you know.

If Ichigo knew her before tonight, he'd probably mention her quite a bit to his male peers.

Rukia was stunning. She looked like she just stepped out of a storybook on Japanese mythology. Her midnight hair was richer in darkness than a starless sky, and these locks of absent light that cascaded down to an impossibly tiny waist contrasted beautifully against skin so pale that it seemed to glow. Yet the most lovely characteristic of hers was a pair of brilliantly blue eyes illuminated by playful flecks of silver-grey. She acknowledged Ichigo with a nod and a bow, but her facial features refused to morph out of their cool iciness.

'Uh... Yo.' Ichigo's words stumbled clumsily out of his mouth. It was difficult maintaining composure in the presence of this beautiful girl. Plus, he was never good at holding lengthy relationships with the ladies anyway. They made him feel awkward. He got attached way too easily and ended up having his feelings hurt by women who may have been attracted to him or the idea of him, but couldn't at all understand him. He supposed that was his own fault. By his own diagnostics, he didn't know how to treat women in such a way that fostered a healthy, lasting relationship between them.

He was pretty good at bringing them home, though.

Just for a night. Beyond that, he was as smooth as sandpaper.

'Yo?' she tilted her head quizzically. 'What is a yo?'

'It's not a thing, it's an expression.' Renji explained as if her inquiry wasn't weird as hell.

'Oh!' her face brightens like she's just realized that she invented the toaster. 'I see! Human speech is so strange!'

Oh.

No wonder Renji never mentioned her.

She was batshit insane.

'Who are you?' her attention turns back to Ichigo, who's about to respond, but is intercepted by Renji once again.

'This is Ichigo. He lives down the street.'

'I can speak for myself, you know.' Ichigo snaps, immediately regretting that flash of heat. His eyes fly apologetically to Rukia, who seems completely unfazed by his aggression. 'Sorry. I'm not always this rough around the edges.'

'Rough around the edges?' she repeats the words slowly like she's trying to process them. 'How could you be rough around the edges? You don't even have edges.'

Ok.

'Haha!' Renji burst into faux laughter, deafening and annoying at the same time. 'You're hilarious, Rukia! Ha! _Ha_! Right, Ichigo?! Right?!'

'I don't see what's so funny.' she shrugged, crossing her arms over her chest defensively. Renji was making her nervous. She already tended not to do well in larger groups, and his behaviour certainly wasn't helping her anxiety.

Usually, her Nii-sama didn't trust her to be out in the night surrounded by so many humans all at once. In fact, she hadn't been this close to them in a very long time. She was skeptical about attending this party at first, but Renji convinced her that it would be a fun experience. Renji, after all, was a human. Surely if all humans were like him, she had nothing to worry about?

And since he was in love with her, he needed her to be comfortable around humans before he could confess his feelings for her. If she was going to live with him, that is. Knowing Byakuya Kuchiki, he would never allow Renji to live amongst their people. Hence, Renji would ask Rukia to leave her home behind to stay with him.

From an outsider's perspective, it was undoubtedly a selfish request of him to make. But in Renji's mind, he had rightly earned the right to ask this of her. Unfortunately, Rukia was completely ignorant of Renji's feelings. What's more, is that she herself didn't see him in any romantic light. She would never see his proposal coming.

Speaking of which.

Where was that ring?

'Anyway...' Renji continued. 'Ichigo, could you stick with her for a bit? I, uh... I need to find something.'

'What?!' he hissed at the redhead. 'Renji, where-'

But Renji was long gone. He beelined for the staircase, practically hopping all the way up to his room. Ichigo assumed that he probably needed to pee very, very badly or maybe he needed some space from all the chaos at the bottom floor of the house. Though that would have been uncharacteristic of Renji, it certainly wasn't a possibility. Ichigo himself felt like he needed to get the fuck out of here or he would suffocate.

'So...' Rukia's voice broke into Ichigo's thoughts. 'What do you do for a living?' she ran a hand up his forearms to squeeze his biceps, just like she saw Rangiku Matsumoto do to Shuhei Hisagi earlier on in the evening. Rukia didn't know how to approach humans properly, and she had been told by Renji that vampiric tendencies were often regarded as cold in human society. Therefore, Rukia thought that she could do no wrong by mimicking the gestures of a well-liked human female. Surely if Rangiku could get all these people to like her, Rukia could achieve the same outcome just by copying her. After all, although Rukia was trying to be unsuspecting, she also desperately wanted to form friendly connections with humans.

Byakuya always said that humans were vicious, and that's why he separated Rukia from them at an earlier age.

Rukia wanted to prove her brother wrong.

Unfortunately, Ichigo misinterpreted Rukia's advances. Renji's quick exit and Rukia's forwardness prompted him to hypothesize that Rukia had probably asked to be introduced to him earlier on in the night, which is why Renji brought them together.

Well.

How flattering.

But there was still something bothering him.

'How old are you?' he asked calmly. She appeared to be not a day over eighteen, but he hoped that was because she was short and had a youthful face. It wasn't in him to engage with girls substantially younger than him, even if they were technically adults. For fuck's sake, Yuzu and Karin were already twenty-five! He frowned deeply at the thought of some middle-aged sleaze bag partnering up with either one of his sisters.

'Hmm?' Rukia feigned miscommunication, panicking inside. Should she tell him the truth? What if he didn't believe her? How old could humans live up to again? She couldn't even properly gauge.

'How old are you?' he pressed, and it was obvious he meant business.

The truth, then.

'A hundred and eighteen.'

He laughed boisterously. 'You're really fucking crazy, aren't you?'

Rukia's eyes widened and her gaze fell to the floor. She opened her mouth like she wanted to stay something, but sealed her lips as quickly as her mood had changed. His question obviously sparked a deep-seated loneliness within her, and he felt a sickening lurch at his stomach. Ichigo might not have been the most outwardly caring guy, but he hated upsetting others.

'S-Sorry.' he cleared his throat. 'I didn't mean it.'

'No?' she looked up at him with sad eyes. 'Crazy is bad, isn't it?'

'N-No! Crazy's great! Like, uh... "It's a crazy night!" or "What a crazy day!"! Crazy's good!'

'Eh?'

'Look, crazy nowadays is a good thing! It's a compliment!'

'Really? Says who?'

'Says... Says the Mad Hatter!'

'The who?'

'The Mad Hatter.'

'Oh!' she smiled. 'I want to meet this Mad Hatter!'

'O-Ok...' he chuckled nervously. Boy, was this chick insane. But she was also lovely, and if she wanted to hook up with him, he wasn't going to refuse. 'Anyway...' he leaned in to whisper into her ear. 'Do you want to see my place?'

Rukia's eyes lit up. Her plan had worked! She just made a new friend! He was inviting her to his place, and they'd be able to form a friendship, and she'd be able to show her brother that vampires and humans didn't need to live in separate societies!

'Rukia...' he tried again, his fingertips trailing up behind her back. 'Do you want to-'

'Yes!' she hugs him around his neck, and he reciprocates by pressing his body against hers. 'Yes, take me-'

He didn't need to be told twice. He led her out of the house gently, taking her hand in his. She followed him without a second thought. If anything, she was ecstatic about having made a human friend besides Renji.

When they arrived at the Kurosaki residence, the entire household was pitch black. Ichigo knew that no one would be home as Yuzu and Karin were out on a road trip with their friends. Rukia made small talk, and he happily obliged. She was always curious about something or the other, but he chalked all that up to a highly probable problem up in her head.

'Your room's pretty small.' she commented callously, not thinking twice about how rude she was being. Her kind didn't mince words, and she hadn't really yet learned the social etiquette amongst humans.

Under normal circumstances, Ichigo would have been offended at her words, but he was dying with anticipation to get her underneath him.

She sits on his bed and kicks off her shoes. Her white dress hikes up to her upper thighs, and he wastes no time sliding beside her. He thinks silently to himself that she's quite forward. But he can be forward too.

'Rukia...'

'Hmm?' she faces him, and he leans in to kiss her.

Confused, but also excited, Rukia's pupils dilate to an alarming size. Instantly, she understood that she had completely misinterpreted the situation earlier. This man didn't want to be friendly with her; he wanted to take her home to fuck her. Though she was surprised, she wasn't against the idea of sleeping with him. Actually, she was more than willing to participate. She was attracted to this man and he had been the only human in a long time to treat her with kindness. She was just shocked that humans had the ability to desire physical intimacy after such a short time. Her brother always told her that although humans had much shorter lifespans, they craved deep, meaningful love, and thus it took them eons to be able to let another being share their body with them.

Without leaving his lips, she undoes the back of her dress and kicks it off of her. He follows suit, unbuttoning his shirt and tossing it to join her own garments on the floor. Her bra follows, and his hands roam all over her skin like he was searching for something. It may have been because he hadn't been with a woman in a long time, but he found himself totally seduced by the unusual softness of her skin, the coolness of her touch as she worked to unbuckle his belt, and the sugary but almost understated fragrance that grew stronger the more she revealed himself to him.

He broke the kiss, ambers smouldering in hot, hot desire. His head is spinning, the world around him is blurring, but she is the only focus. Her image is sharp to him, commanding his total attention (not that he'd look anywhere else right now). He cups her face and leans in to give her another crushing kiss. She tries to match his expert passion, but he's more experienced than she thought he'd be.

'Ichi... Ichi...' she tried making his name out between breathless kisses, but he pushes her onto her back.

'You're pretty.' he whispers subconsciously, brushing her hair away from her face. Flattered, her lips pull up into a soft smile and her sapphire stare gleams with an innocent happiness that seemed almost out of place in their current predicament. He realizes what he's said and blushes a mad shade of red, pulling his hand away from her and settling his palm on top of the pillow behind her to support his weight. His free hand is on her knee, pushing to spread her legs to uncover glistening, need heat.

He can't wait anymore. He knows he could tease her more, but if she's this wanting, and if he is to retain any sanity for tonight, he would have to attend to both their desires immediately.

He enters her and she howls in pleasure.

He's salivating. She's too appetizing beneath him, sweaty and writhing around in his sheets like she couldn't get him deep enough inside of her. His fingers ghost over her lips, and she kisses them innocently before taking two in her mouth. She sucks on them like she's trying to mirror how he's fucking her, making the bones of her neck and collarbone all the more prominent to him as her head bobs up and down the length of his fingers. His gaze is drawn to the pale, exposed skin of her nape, and although it isn't the most vulgar part of her, he finds the urge to mark it.

He withdraws his digits from her to cup her by the cheeks firmly, holding her in place.

'Ichigo...?'

His head dips down to her neck, where he bites down hard.

'Ichigo!' she cries to the ceiling in half-pain and complete pleasure. Her hand flies up at the back of his head, pressing down so that his teeth dig further into her flesh. He's suckling on her now, alternating between slow slurping and harsh nipping. Copper blood hits his tongue, but that doesn't deter him whatsoever. She claws at his arms and he almost lets up because he thinks he's hurting her, but the shrill words torn from her mouth are more than enough encouragement to keep going. 'Anh, yes!'

'You're really fucking crazy.' he grins at her when he finally lets her go. He glances at the angry, bruising flesh he's left behind and he can't help but feel like he wants to do it again.

'Ichigo...' she begins in a darkly seductive tone, her pupils dark and large. 'Do you want to be mine?'

'I'm already yours.' he shoots back with a handsome, lopsided smile. He doesn't realize that her question is laced with some underlying intentions.

Rukia wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him closer to her. He thrusts harder, faster into her so that the tension at his groin is tenfold. His eyes roll back and his head collapses to right beside hers, exposing his neck to her this time.

She mistakes this as an offering to be hers.

She bites down on the pulsating vein at his neck. He's so lost in their lovemaking that he doesn't feel any pain when her fangs extend and puncture into his skin, draining him of a bit of his blood. Of course, she doesn't want to kill him - she releases her hold on him after just a few seconds. Soon after she's finished feeding from him, she comes apart screaming his name. He follows her shortly after, refusing against his better judgement to pull out of her.

Rukia is convinced; this man wanted to make her his bride today.

He probably knew that she was a vampire.

How else could he have known all the steps to properly propose to her? First the bite, then finishing inside... There was just one more missing ingredient.

'I think I love you.' he teases her huskily, giving her a lazy, wet kiss.

He meant it in a joking manner, but Rukia couldn't take him more seriously when those three magical words left him.

'I love you too.' she answers, completing their vows.

The full moon shines an alluring spotlight on their entangled bodies. As Ichigo lulls into innocent slumber, Rukia can't keep herself from smiling to herself.

She was pleased with her new husband.

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you so much for your interest in this story! I was really hesitant about writing a vampire AU because I feel like it's been done many times before. Then again, I'd regret it if I didn't write a story that I wanted to.

Thanks so much again for your interest! I can't wait to hear your thoughts.


	2. Fangs Out

Sunshine seeped into the crack of the curtains, warming Ichigo's eyelids pleasantly and stirring him awake. As was his morning ritual, he tossed and turned, grumbled a few nonsensical phrases, until he finally sprawled out, motionless, but in semi-consciousness. This was the longest minute of his life, debating whether or not he should wake up even though it was always impossible for him to get back to bed once he's regained coherent thought. Nevertheless, he savors this empty space in his daily routine when he can just bask in the heat of the sun, with no goal, no drive, no expectations placed on him. It was in this moment when he felt completely free from the chains of his relationships.

Not that he hated people.

Much.

No, ok. He loved people. Really, genuinely loved his family and close-knit circle of friends. He loved them so much that he would never forgive himself if anything happened to any one of them, which is why he took it upon himself to fight their battles and protect them to the very best extent that he could.

Unexpectedly, a pair of delicately smooth hands palm his shoulders. He furrows his brows, but makes no effort to acknowledge this strange presence.

Well, at first.

Because those long, frictionless fingers curl and knead at the knots in his muscles, hitting it right where he needs it, encouraging a subconscious moan to escape him. He feels the bed shift in weight, a presence looming over him leaning forwards so that pillowy lips are at his ear. Silky strands of hair ghost over his back, and it is only then that last night's events trickle back into his memory.

'Ichigo...' Rukia whispers. 'Did you sleep well?'

He stirs just a little, not wanting to discourage her from working her expert hands on him. Slowly, he looks back over his shoulder and the wind is nearly knocked out of him.

Rukia was staring right at him, rounded sapphire eyes holding an oceanic depth within them that seemed to glow from within, like some lost treasure at sea that had found its way to him. Her skin is bright under the sunlight with a ghostly, silvery sheen that he's never seen before. The effect is eery, unreal, hauntingly beautiful. Midnight hair mapped out her star-lit skin and though he knew that it had cascaded along random routes, the potent black against the pale canvas of her body appeared almost calculated because it was impossible to believe that someone as picture perfect as this woman was born by chance.

He mentally pats himself on the back. He did well last night.

'I did.' he cleared his throat before propping himself up on his elbows. His gaze is downcast as he maneuvers himself into a sitting position and even then, he refuses to look at her. A second passes, then a minute, then longer, and he knows he should say something before the awkwardness is heavy enough to crush him.

This is the hard part. The part where all his macho suave from the previous evening dissipated into awkward, teenage-boy reenactments.

Ichigo didn't know why, but he had trouble dealing with morning-afters.

Not that he didn't like the women; no it wasn't about the women. It was more about himself.

Despite his track record of one-night stands, he actually had a pretty romantic view about sex. Perhaps that's why he wasn't so strict on himself about it. Two bodies mingling, breathy cries, and drumming hearts made him feel a sense of togetherness with his partner. It made him feel, for a fleeting moment in time, that he wasn't so disconnected from a world that doesn't really spin on its axis. Even though Ichigo was a man well-loved (and well-detested) by so many around him, he often felt an empty detachment that him feel so, so alone.

Maybe morning-afters were awkward because he'd wake up alone, to the realization that he didn't love or care for the women he was with, and that even the simulation of faux make-love was just a cotton swab to the gaping loneliness he felt on a daily basis.

'You don't have to tell me.' Rukia speaks up, snapping his gaze to her. 'Whatever you're thinking about, you don't have to tell me... I'll wait.' she smiles, and it puts him at ease.

He doesn't know what to say or if he _should_ say anything. Rather, he allows ambers to lock with her concern, and his perpetual frown softens just a bit.

'Until the time you want to tell me...' she continues. 'I'll wait.'

Her respectful compassion stuns him.

She read him so easily.

He remains motionless for a long time. Shock embroiders itself on his features, but she just keeps looking at him like she could wait for him forever. Finally, he reaches out to her with both arms, wrapping her in a tight embrace and bringing her up to him so that his lips are on hers. The kiss is brief, but deep, and when he withdraws, he kisses her forehead.

'Ichigo-'

'I'm going to take a bath.' he lets her go and stands up, not bothering to dress himself. She had seen it all anyway. Still, the sight of his bare, muscular physique tinged her cheeks a laughably intense shade of red. 'You can leave whenever you like.'

That statement confused Rukia, but before she could ask what he meant by "leave," he was out the door with a towel in hand.

The reason Ichigo had excused himself was because he wasn't confident that he could see her on her way out. For some stupid fucking reason, she played at his heart strings.

After the bath filled with water, Ichigo lowered himself into the heat with a loud sigh. His muscles were sore, especially after the performance he gave last night. His eyelids shut and he relaxes, reminiscing about the latest events of his life.

He thinks about Rukia; he thinks that she's beautiful and will make for a nice memory. He knows that he'll look back at their time together fondly.

In fact, he almost wants to ask her out.

But she was far too young. She looked like she was a teenager, and on top of that, she was fucking-

The water splashes even though he hasn't moved.

His eyes snap open to find a very naked Rukia joining him in the tub.

Crazy.

The chick was crazy.

'H-Hey...' he murmured half-heartedly. He wanted to say that this was making him uncomfortable, but he wasn't so sure anymore. She was attractive, and even though she was more forward and strange than what he was used to, the change wasn't exactly unwelcome.

'I could have run the bath for you.' she tells him sweetly and he curses under his breath.

'Rukia... Why are you here?'

She cocks her head to the side. It's obvious that his question puzzles her. 'Why wouldn't I be?'

'I mean, shouldn't you be going home?'

'Why would I go home?'

'Because... Well, you know...'

'Eh?'

'S-Sorry.' he chokes on nothing when she gets on her fours and settles in between his legs. A pleasant tension sparks in his gut and with how close she is to his nether regions, she'll soon see just how happy he was to see her. 'Did you want morning sex?'

'Anything you want.' she slides up higher, her flat stomach brushing against his erection, until her hands are on his chest and their noses are barely a centimetre apart. Her breath is hot on his chin, and those gothically alluring eyes of hers are working their magic on him again.

'Rukia-'

Before he can say anything else, her head dips so that her lips are on his neck.

'Ah, Rukia-'

Her mouth massages him erotically. His breathing is coming out ragged, and he's pretty sure she can hear his dangerous rabbit-heart thundering loudly.

She likes rabbits. He'll find that out soon enough.

'Ruki- _agh_! Ah, _fuck_!'

Her fangs sink into his flesh.

Without the anesthetic aphrodisiac of complete euphoria, he feels the sting of punctured skin. Without a second thought, a hand winds up in her hair and yanks her back.

He sees her, _really sees_ her.

Fangs out.

Blood (his) seeping from the pointy tips.

Extremely dilated pupils.

Glowing eyes. Literally, _glowing eyes_.

All that jazz.

The sight shocks him.

'What the _fuck_?!'

'Darling, I was feeding.' she snaps, irritated.

His jaw drops.

His erection hardens.

'D-Darling?' he squeaks, flattered despite the more urgent details of his current predicament.

'Mm...' she hums to herself, amused by his odd behaviour. She cups his face as his hand goes limp in her hair. He's in shock and she takes the chance to lean into him, kissing his open mouth. His arms instinctively wrap around her waist to bring her closer to him, but he's staring in shock at nothing. The steam from the running hot water clouds his vision, dizzying him so that his emerging headache is nearing unbearable levels of discomfort. 'Darling...' that brings him back to reality. He pulls away from her, and this time it is his turn to cup her face. He gives her a stony glare, but she just smiles sweetly. 'I love you, darling...'

He melts.

Then sits upright quickly.

'Listen, lady-'

'Ichigo!' Renji's familiar voice calls out. The sound is coming from the lower level of the Kurosaki household. 'Ichigo, you fucking dick! I have a bone to pick with you!'

 _When do you not?_ Ichigo thought bitterly to himself.

'Ichigo!' Renji calls out again, more urgently. 'Fucking come down here, you carrot head!'

Ichigo gave the beautiful woman he was sharing the tub with a long, indulgent stare.

'Hmm?' she tilted her head ever so slightly, her large eyes gazing up at him innocently.

Revealing her fangs.

He rubs his temples. Renji's timing couldn't be worse.

'You stay here.' he hisses, hurrying out of the water. He grabs the towel and dries himself in a hurry. 'Don't move, don't do anything weird, don't-'

'What's wrong, darling?'

 _Ugh_ , he loves it when she calls him that.

'Renji's downstairs-'

'No! Ichigo, don't go-'

'Why not?!' he demands, chuckling dryly. 'He set us up, I bet he can explain why you've got fangs, why you go around biting people and shit-'

'Because I'm a vampire.'

'Yeah, exactly, because you're...! W-What?!'

'Because I'm a vampire.' she repeats, resting the side of her face on the edge of the tub. Her haughty eyes are inviting, and he almost gives in to the urge to just jump back in there with her.

'Y-You're a-'

'Vampire, darling.'

'And why are you here?!'

She frowns. 'Because you married me.' she explains, craning her neck so that she can expose an angry bruise where he had bitten her last night. 'You proposed to me last night.'

 **. . .**

'You fucking asshole!' Renji screeched when he caught sight of Ichigo descending down the staircase.

Fully clothed, of course.

'Where is she?!' Renji crossed his arms over his chest. 'Where's Rukia?!'

'Getting changed.' Ichigo cleared his throat. When he got to the bottom of the stairs, he led his friend over to the living room, where he plopped onto a couch. His redhead friend remained standing, eyes hateful and cheeks pinking furiously. Ichigo, perhaps because of the shock of the entire situation, seemed unfazed by Renji's wrath. 'She's your friend, right, Renji? Well, did you know that she's-'

'I know everything about her.' Renji growled. 'What I didn't know about _you_ is that you're a horny bastard!'

'Uh huh.' Ichigo nodded with a blank expression. 'Anyway, did you know-'

'Wow, Ichigo! I can't believe I left you for _ten minutes_ and you drag her to your _family_ home! _Disgusting_! Fucking disgusting, man!'

'She's a-'

'I bet if my _shoe_ had a skirt, I'd have to hide it from you too!'

'Renji!' Rukia called as she practically floated down the staircase, in a much more graceful fashion than Ichigo had earlier.

Ichigo's eyes narrowed. _I told you to stay in the bathroom..._

Renji's visage paled and Ichigo's stomach somersaulted with a mix of virile pride and boyish embarrassment when both men noted (with very different feelings about the fact) that Rukia was wearing nothing but one of Ichigo's shirts that had a number _15_ designed onto it. The garment was too big for the petite woman, but to Ichigo, there was an undeniably sexy element to seeing her in his clothes. Her long legs carried her down the flight of stairs, and Renji gritted his teeth when he realized that this was the most he's ever seen of his childhood friend.

Ichigo probably saw more last night.

'Renji.' Rukia beamed as she scooted to Ichigo's side on the couch. 'Thank you for introducing me to Ichigo!'

The aforementioned man's face reddened.

Renji hissed like a demented snake.

'He's so fun.' she pressed, taking Ichigo's hand in hers. He stiffened at her touch. 'I'm so happy that he's my husband.'

'This _prick_.' Renji gestured to a trembling Ichigo, who was failing to remain composed. 'Is not your husband.'

'Sure he is!' she looked up at last night's lover with a dreamy sigh. 'He proposed to me last night.'

Renji snorted. 'Ichigo can't even afford a ring.'

'Ok, fuck you.' Ichigo quipped. 'I make decent money.'

'Rukia.' Renji ignored Ichigo's protest. 'You need to go home. This guy's bad news.'

'I'm still here, Renji!' Ichigo's voice rose.

'No!' she shook her head. 'He's great, Renji. I'm happy to spend the rest of eternity with him.'

'Rukia!' the redhead whined. 'You're misunderstanding the whole thing!'

'I'm not!' she huffed, yanking down the collar of the oversized shirt she was wearing to reveal a splotchy bruise on her neck where Ichigo bit her last night. 'See! He proposed to me, and I accepted!' at that, she reached up to Ichigo's collar to pull it to the side and reveal two distinct puncture marks.

Renji's jaw dropped.

'You _fucking idiot_!' he snapped at the orange-haired clinician. 'Did you seriously propose to a vampire?! Do you have any idea what you've done?!'

'Oh.' Ichigo nodded slowly. 'So you knew-'

'Rukia is the soon-to-be head of the royal Kuchiki clan! They've agreed to keep the peace with humans for hundreds of years! You asshole! What you've done will blur very necessary lines that humans should never cross!'

Ichigo remained silent for a long time.

When he spoke again, he shrugged and said, 'I didn't know she was a vampire, man.'

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you to everyone supporting this story!

I am honoured again to have your support with this new story. Thank you so much for your endless support, I truly am so grateful for it. I have so many things planned for this, and I can't wait to share them with you!

Thank you to **Zangetsu50, TrafalgarRukia, Eri, MugetsuIchigo, kleinegirl87, draven32, Kidzin, withoutManga, NieveDrop, blissbeat, Kevvy Talks, cloud9, IchiRuki 4vr,** and the **Guest** reviewers!

 **Zangetsu50** , that's a relief! I thought that there would be more vampire AUs.

 **Guest** , I believe they are tropes! So glad that this story has a dynamic that you like.

 **Alternatives** , I will not be taking your suggestion into consideration. You have commented on my stories before under various aliases, and your reviews have never impacted my writing, nor do I see them ever doing so. You and I do not see eye-to-eye in storytelling.

 **Guest** , I admire you for standing your ground, but don't worry about **Alternatives** ; they prattle on and on about the same thing under different usernames. I have never, nor will I ever, take what they say into consideration.

 **withoutManga** , oh no! I'm so sorry that my other stories make you feel that way. No worries, I think you will find this story more palatable to you. It will remain mostly lighthearted. I certainly will not make the same mistake I did with Enchantress, giving in to my urge to propel the story in a dramatic direction.

 **NieveDrop** , this will stay lighthearted! It's definitely what I'm going for, though I struggle to write comedic scenes. BUT STILL, this will happen.

 **Kevvy Talks,** you are too sweet! Thank you for your support in this story as well.

Thanks so much, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


	3. What She Seeks

Ichigo supposed that he should have been more understanding of Renji's overdramatic nagging.

After all, it probably wasn't easy for the redhead to babysit a grown woman. Err, vampire. Surely even more challenging for Renji was to have to keep Rukia's true nature hidden from the rest of mortal society. So really, when Renji blew up in Ichigo's face about getting hitched to this wonder woman (apparently this casual, matrimonial union was going to spark some outrage amongst the vampires or some shit like that) Ichigo should have been nicer about the whole situation.

Oh well.

'Humans and vampires have, historically, been at each other's throats for hundreds of years.' Renji explained. 'Until the Kuchikis came to an agreement with the humans. Ginrei Kuchiki signed a treaty that stated that humans and vampires are to keep the peace provided that they live as separate societies. The whole problem between them started anyways when this chick had a thing with one of the vampires and he accidentally drained her of blood when he was hitting it.'

Ichigo's gut somersaulted. 'That's-'

'That was an accident!' Rukia interjected. 'In the beginning, our kind didn't know that humans were mortal!'

'Yeah, well...' Renji snorted. 'Shit happens.'

'Not that I'm not enjoying this crash course on vampires...' Ichigo began sarcastically. 'But what does this have to do with me?'

'Your shotgun wedding to Rukia violates the peace treaty. The Kuchikis will see it as you stomping on the agreement, and you do _not_ want to fuck with the Kuchikis!'

'You know, except I kinda did.' Ichigo snapped, feeling that Renji was threatening him - and Ichigo was not a man who tolerated threats. 'Last night.'

Rukia covered the shocked _O_ of her mouth with a dainty hand. Mischievous sapphire eyes flew to Renji, who was absolutely seething.

'Oh yeah, that attitude is gonna get you nicely acquainted with your in-laws.' Renji bit out venomously.

'Nii-sama is going to have to accept whoever I love, Renji.'

'The day the Captain accepts that his precious sister is fucking around with a lowly human!'

'Seriously man, say what you want to me.' Ichigo leaned forward menacingly. He was barely able to contain his rage, though shards of frustration seeped into his words. 'But don't talk to her like that. That's fucking disrespectful. Thought you were better than the little bitch you're channeling.'

'You really think you're in any position to lecture me right now?' the tatted man blinked incredulously. 'Cause you're the poster child for good life decisions, right? Because it's not like you came to my party last night, spent a whole five seconds with me, before running off with a _vampire_ -'

'I already told you!' Ichigo's brows furrowed. 'I didn't know!'

'Well now that you do, you've gotta do something about it! I mean damn, you could at least pretend to be more interested in knowing what the implications of your marriage are because it affects way more people than just you! You're _screwed_ , man! You have no idea what you've gotten yourself into!'

In the middle of Renji's epic rant about how fucked Ichigo's future now was, the orange-haired clinician decided that enough was enough. He had indulged this stupid conversation for as long as he could, and his patience was wearing paper thin. The only reason he was able to tolerate Renji's rage for so long was because he didn't want to get off the couch as Rukia was still clinging onto his arm. He feared that any sudden movement would break her.

Of course, he was aware that she wasn't so fragile.

Still, he couldn't help but feel a tug at his heart seeing her so happily chaining her arm around his. The side of her head rested on his shoulder, and she looked up at him to smile periodically. Otherwise, she was glaring at Renji as a snake would its prey. She was obviously not happy with the way that her childhood friend was handling the situation.

Now if Rukia, who certainly had more patience than Ichigo, was starting to get irritated...

Well, it was a miracle that Ichigo hadn't thrown a shoe at Renji's direction yet.

'Alright.' Ichigo cut Renji's rampage off curtly. He gently unhooked his arm from Rukia's and stood up quickly. 'I'm outta here. Got a clinic to run, unlike some people who still have yet to land a decent job.' he glared at Renji, who gave him the evil eye back.

'Yeah, well, not all of us have rich daddies that leave us businesses to run.' Renji spoke through clenched teeth.

'I'm not rich at all, you dick. Didn't you say I was broke like, 5 minutes ago?'

'Darling, wait!' Rukia reached for Ichigo's hand instinctively. Her newly-wed husband looked back at her over his shoulder with a gentle smoulder to his amber eyes that made her melt right into the couch.

'Sorry.' he swivelled around and cupped her face. 'This is all new to me. I'm not even really believing everything I'm seeing or hearing, so I'll have to take a breather from all of this.'

'A breather?' she tilted her head to the side to show that she didn't quiet get what he was saying.

'A break. Just a couple hours to myself.'

'Oh.' she averted her gaze because if she knew that if she didn't, he'd see how disappointed she was. She could tell that he was already having a hard time getting a good grip on his situation, so she didn't want to add burden to confusion. 'I see... I'll be right here then.'

He nodded. 'Yeah. I'll let you finish up with him.' he gestured to Renji. 'While I get to work. Um...' he let go of her awkwardly. He really didn't know where to go from here. There was no way he was going to kick her out, but he's never spent so much time with someone he just met. Not that he didn't want to; he just needed some time to himself before he punched Renji's lights out. 'I'll see you again, then.'

With a dismissive wave at Renji's direction, Ichigo excused himself. The man of the house hurried off to the clinic portion of the household, which was far enough so that Rukia and Renji were confident that their voices could not be heard. Before long, the wind charms at the doorway of the clinic chimed, and Ichigo's first patient of the day sought help strangely early on a Saturday morning. Ichigo, of course, wasn't complaining. The place was usually empty, but he was relieved to have an excuse not to deal with condescending Renji.

'Wow.' the redhead shook his head. 'What an asshole.'

'He's entitled to walk away when he wants to.' Rukia murmured. 'Especially when you're being so rude to him.'

'Seriously? You're defending him? For fuck's sake, Rukia. I thought you were better than that.'

'Excuse me?' she quirked a brow, offended.

'I mean, damn.' he chuckled dryly. 'I've heard stories of your kind using humans as temporary lovers in the past, but I didn't expect you to start that tradition up again.'

She scoffed. His comments hurt her, but she chose to pretend as if he had a minimal effect on her. 'First of all, he proposed to me-'

'He didn't know what he was doing!'

'But it happened! So can we move on?'

Renji narrowed his eyes. 'Yeah, you'll move on. He's just gonna be one lover out of many, anyway.'

It was Rukia's turn to hood her lids over terrifyingly cold blues. 'What are you prattling on about now?'

'Oh, please. Spare me the "oh I don't know what you're talking about!" bullshit. You vamps mess around all the time. Betting you're the same. It's not like sharing a bed with you is such an achievement.'

Since Renji was Rukia's closest friend (although even then, she wasn't a hundred percent comfortable with him), his words hit her harder than what she normally permitted. A bundle of anxiety and anger lodged in her throat, but she would not set it free. She was a Kuchiki; a proud member of the family sitting at the top of the vampiric social hierarchy. She wouldn't let anyone see her affected by childish banter.

'Well...' Rukia began, her voice as soft as the brush of her fingers when she tucked a lock of hair behind an ear. 'You clearly don't know me very well.'

'No, I don't. Because I thought you were better than to get hitched to a random man. He doesn't even know! You have no feelings for him, you-'

'You don't know what my feelings for him are.'

'You met him last night!'

'Let's not get into the semantics of all this.' she sat up straighter. 'Time is relative. It's not how much time we spent together, but what that time meant to us.'

'Oh yeah, alright, tell that to your brother when he finds out you fucked with the enemy - literally!'

'Humans are not my enemy. Nii-sama should be able to see that.'

' _Ha_! Oh my _fuck_!' Renji roared, throwing his hands up. He got to his feet the room. 'See, that's the problem with you young vamps. You think you live in this fantasy world, but really, it's all in your head! You're not thinking straight about any of this! You love him? You _love_ him, really? You think you're marriage is for real? Till the end of time? What happens when you outlive him, huh? Did you think about that? You're gonna live for hundreds of years; he's got until a hundred _at most_! This "marriage" is easy for you because you don't actually have to commit! So why'd you do it, huh? To rebel against the Captain? To prove a point? Bullshit, Rukia! All you've managed to do is nab yourself a lover! None of this is as serious as you want it to be! This is gonna be a fading memory, something for you to laugh at when you've actually grown up!'

Rukia was stunned into silence.

She thought that Renji was her best friend. Even though she didn't trust him completely, she trusted him a great deal. So to hear him speak so ill of her right to her face with so much resentment and condemnation in his tone that listening to him was like taking a knife to the chest.

Nevertheless, she was a Kuchiki. She had to pretend like she wasn't hurt.

'Are you done?' she asked cooly. The slight shakiness of her voice was lost on him.

'Yeah.' he snapped, turning his back on her. 'I'm fucking done.'

When he left, Rukia still thought about what he had said, and how he said it. It felt like he was attacking her, and Rukia never liked feeling attacked - who did? Especially not by one's own supposedly "close friend."

Renji's verbal assault struck one of the many lonely chords of her heart.

When Rukia was only an infant, Hisana (a human) took her from the vampiric Kuchikis in the dead of night. Hisana married Byakuya Kuchiki, the heir to the throne ruling over the global vampire society. Even though Hisana was only a human, Byakuya fought the Kuchiki elders to have their marriage legitimized, and thus formally accepting Hisana into the demonic community. Although this action went against the peace treaty, the elders agreed that they would make an exception just this once. Rukia was born out of this controversial union between human and vampire. However, as time went on, Hisana had doubts about how Rukia should be raised. She spoke to her husband about it, but Byakuya only responded by insisting that Rukia didn't need to encourage her human side to grow. Humans were defective; why should they allow their daughter to live amongst the broken?

Hisana managed to hide from the Kuchikis for only a year, until she succumbed to the strenuous lifestyle of a single mother who was already weak from birthing a wicked child. Byakuya took Rukia back and raised her as her older brother, hoping that she would never learn the truth of her lineage.

But Rukia was a smart girl; she eventually figured it out. Little clues here and there.

For example, unlike the rest of the vampires, she did just fine under the sun. While it was a general, unspoken rule for vampires to hide indoors during the day, Rukia was free to roam wherever she pleased without blistering from sunshine. Then there was her diet; Rukia could only handle drinking blood to a certain extent before it made her sick. She needed it to survive, but too much of it also acted like poison to her. Additionally, she could only feed off of particular humans. Before Ichigo, she had only fed from two people.

The final nail on the metaphorical coffin of the mystery surrounding Rukia was a natural magnetization she felt towards the humans. She would often sneak off during the day (because neither Byakuya or his henchmen could run after her under the unforgiving sun) to play with human children. When she was old enough to look like a teenager, she would sit in random classes and pretend to be a student. It was during one of these faux school days that she met Renji, with whom she became very close. As both an orphan and a frequently misbehaving boy, Renji felt ostracized from society and thus was able to understand Rukia's feelings of not belonging to some extent. Seduced by the prospect of making her first, real friend, Rukia told him more than he needed to know.

He didn't believe her. Naturally.

So she took him back to the Kuchiki Manor.

Now, if Renji didn't believe her before, he had no doubts about the existence of vampires after being chased out of the mansion by a hoard of hungry vampires.

 _'Why did you do it?' Byakuya was cross with his daughter-turned-sister. 'Why would you expose us like this?'_

 _'Nii-sama, I was only trying to help.' a young Rukia insisted. 'You and the elders always talk about how bad humans are, but Renji's nice to me! I don't see what's so bad about them at all. Besides...' she trailed off, her gaze falling to the floor_ _shamefully._

 _'What?' Byakuya's patience was running thin. 'What is it, Rukia?'_

 _'I... I feel more like I belong when I'm with **them** , Nii-sama. Not here.'_

 _Slate grey eyes widened with uncharacteristic emotion, before narrowing back as his jaw relaxed and his lips tightened, his features contorting back to their perfect Kuchiki formation. Though Rukia noticed the brief change in his mood, she attributed that to frustration rather than hurt._

 _Looking back at it now, he was probably hurt._

 _'Well, Rukia...' he spoke without any sentimentality whatsoever. 'Perhaps you **do** belong with them. My mistake for thinking that you could be anything but disappointingly human.'_

And that was that. Rukia's suspicions that she wasn't a pure vampire were confirmed. Without having to be asked, Byakuya told her of her origins; that he bedded a human woman, and that Rukia was born out of that love/lust (she didn't really know which of the two it was and she really didn't want to ask). She thought of leaving, but after Byakuya's confession, she felt an odd sense of obligation to him. Not only could he have killed her when she was born, he chose to raise her. After the revelation, Rukia wanted to be closer to Byakuya, but he was as distant as ever.

Even though she finally came to know the truth, Byakuya refused to be acknowledged as her father. _It brings dissent amongst the vampires,_ he claimed, _especially since they deem Hisana a traitor_. So the only solution was to recognize the error of inviting a human into their society. Allowing Rukia to remain a part of it - let alone be the next one in line to inherit the crown from Byakuya - was already a risky move on the Kuchikis' part.

So Rukia was allowed to parade as Byakuya's sister for now. Though she was still an acting potential for the throne, she would automatically relinquish that privilege once Byakuya has other children.

Truthfully, Rukia didn't care about the throne. She didn't love the throne, she loved her father - but he would never love her like a daughter.

Byakuya told her that she was a disappointment.

She didn't want to say it, but he disappointed her too.

And now, Renji let her down.

Snapping back to reality, Rukia shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. Ichigo was attending to a patient. He probably didn't want to be disturbed. She rubbed the back of her neck as a phantom ache crept up her spine. Not even a day after their union and she was already a disturbance to him, a disappointment.

She really wanted to go give him a kiss.

But _no_.

She would stay put in his living room like an inanimate dolls because doll are pretty and perfect and they can't disappoint those that they love.

Barely a minute passed before she decided that that was _bullshit_.

She wanted to do everything in her power to make this marriage work. She had fallen for this human man and she was pretty sure he felt something back fro her. She'd just have to play her cards right if she wanted this new chapter in her life to finally lead her into a place where she belonged.

Fuck Renji and his bad vibes.

* * *

'Thank you, Ichigo-kun.' Jushiro Ukitake smiled. 'What would I do without you?'

'Don't worry about it. It's not a big deal.' Ichigo said absent-mindedly as he wrote his patient a note with instructions to buy a specific brand of iron supplements. 'I'm sorry that I can't help you more. Have you seen a doctor about your anemia?'

'Haha, yes! I'm seeing _you_ , aren't I?'

'I'm not a real doctor.'

'Sure you are.'

'Not really.' Ichigo flipped the note over and started writing more information. 'I'm gonna give you this guy's number. His name's Ishida Uryu. Real good doctor. He can help you way more than I ever could.'

'My disease's persistence isn't chalked up to your abilities.' the older man said gently. 'It's my fault I'm like this.'

'Your anemia isn't your fault. It's not like you asked for it.'

Jushiro winced. 'Well... I sort of did.'

Just then, the door connecting the clinic to the main house could be heard swinging open. Alarmed, Ichigo dropped his pen and his head shot up like a meerkat who had heard a gunshot. Wide, hazel orbs ballooned to the size of plates when Rukia waltzed into the patient room still dressed only in his shirt which was way, way too large for her. Nevertheless, she sauntered innocently to his side, mesmerizing blue orbs twinkling with delight at seeing him.

She unceremoniously sat on his lap and swung her arms around his neck.

'Rukia, what-'

Her mouth claimed his and he couldn't help but meet her eager tongue with his own. A hand went up to her back to push her closer to his chest while the other had its fingers curled around an exposed thigh.

'Ah... Ichigo-kun?'

Ichigo's hand left his wife's thigh to raise a pointed finger in Jushiro's direction as if to say _Just a minute, please_. Good natured Jushiro shrugged and smiled pleasantly, as if to say back _Oh, just take your time!_

'Mm...' he moaned into the kiss, but she ended it prematurely. His brows furrowed irritatedly at that, but soon it was like a lightbulb switched off in his head and he realized just how inappropriate it was to be snogging with this barely-dressed woman in front of his client. 'W-Well...!' he pulled back, cleared his throat, adjust his tie, and faced Jushiro with a tense grin while trying to show that having Rukia on his lap was just a casual occurrence. 'Sorry for the interruption. Here's your referral.' he handed the older man the piece of paper. 'Hope it all works out for you!'

Rukia narrowed her eyes at Ichigo's patient. 'You look familiar...'

'Hmm...' Jushiro smiled. 'Odd. I was just thinking the same thing about you. And you are...?'

'My wife!' Ichigo butted in to take charge of the narrative, lest his own clientele start thinking that he was a lecherous cad who was perfectly fine with a half-naked girl prancing around and giving him random, sexy kisses. 'She's my wife! Rukia is my wife!'

Rukia beamed at Ichigo's proud declaration. Maybe he really was happy that they were married! Renji was totally overreacting back then.

'Oh.' Jushiro nodded. 'I didn't know you were married, Ichigo-kun.'

'What can I say? I like my privacy.'

'Well, then...' the frosty-haired man stood up. 'I better get going. Your lovely wife obviously needs you.'

Ichigo's cheeks burned ferociously even after Jushiro left.

'What the hell?!' he hissed at the woman who still refused to hop off his knees. 'Why did you just barge in here like you own the damn place?! Do you have any idea how inappropriate that was?!'

'I thought you might need an assistant.' she explained. 'You seemed really stressed a while ago, so I thought that if I helped you, you'd relax a bit.'

'N-No! I'm used to not having an assistant!'

'But it might make your life easier!'

He sighed. Arguing with her was exhausting, especially considering that he didn't have much energy after absorbing the events of the last twenty-four hours.

'Rukia.' he began sternly. 'I don't need an assistant.'

'Then how else can I help you?'

'I don't need help!'

'You were in such a bad mood when we were talking to Renji.' she persisted. 'You're so tense! I just want to make you feel better!'

'It's not your job to do that!'

'But I want to!'

He almost laughed at how ridiculous they were, arguing about his horrible mood. He must've been such a downer. He was sure that Rukia didn't envision her (their) honeymoon stuck at home, waiting on a husband who didn't seem like he wanted to be in this marriage at all even though he instigated it in the first place.

'You're in a terrible mood because of me.' she continued, her voice softening. 'If you hadn't married me, maybe you'd still be as nice as you were to me last night.'

He scoffed. 'Are you kidding? You're great to be around.'

'Then what happened earlier?'

'What, you mean _you_ were having fun talking to Renji?' he quirked a brow. 'He was being such an ass. I'm surprised you didn't leave the room with me.'

'But... You said you wanted space!'

'From that discussion, not from you.' he laughed. 'I don't think I could get away from you even if I tried - not that I would, because as much as I don't really want to admit it, I like being around you.' he cupped her face. 'I'm not even mad I got hitched to you so fast.'

'Ichigo... I'm a vampire.'

'Yup.'

'You didn't know that before you proposed to me.'

'Nope.'

'So... Does that bother you?'

'Nah.' he kissed the tip of her nose. 'My life was getting pretty boring anyway.'

She smiled sweetly. 'I love you, darling.'

He melted.

'You know...' amber shone excitedly for the first time in a long time. 'I think I could use an assistant, actually.'

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you to everyone supporting this story!

This chapter wasn't plot-heavy, but I wanted to establish Rukia's character more. I wanted to provide some of her backstory as well as explore some of her thought processes to better illustrate her personality. I really didn't want to continue on with the story with Rukia being a one-dimensional, overly or irritatingly innocent, subservient complement to Ichigo. I want Ichigo and Rukia to find something in each other that they don't find anywhere else.

Thank you to **Magicvibes, FafaCute, TheTacoKnight, iquinn18, Kidzin, draven32, NaryaNenyaVilya, blissbeat, FlynnChan, NieveDrop, MugetsuIchigo, death444, bardshark, ryo tadagachi, Zangetsu50, Kevvy Talks, Arraia, RukiYuki, IchiRuki 4vr** and the **Guest** reviewers!

 **Guest,** thank you so much for your support of content creators! Yes, Ichigo will be a bit more on the chill side on this story because I want to highlight his age. I don't want to be exploring any teenage or young adult concepts in this story. I want to try hitting a different angle from a more mature Ichigo.

 **Kidzin,** Ichigo is not a vampire!

 **NaryaNenyaVilya** , I actually watched that movie just a couple of weeks ago, and it was part of the reason why I wanted to write this story!

 **Guest,** Ichigo does not pride himself on sleeping with random women, but he has a habit of never pursuing these relationships when they do happen.

 **Alternatives,** of course I like writing the subject matter I publish. Otherwise, why write at all? You don't pay me to write, nor do I actively seek out your advice; so really, you shouldn't be feeling "compelled" to give me any direction in my writing.

 **Zangetsu50** , thank you so much for your kind words! I'm so honoured to have your support! I'm not sure about a werewolf story, but if you have any ideas, you're welcome to PM me. I was actually thinking of writing a story circulating around a sickeningly rich Ichigo. I read **No Money** by **xxxKei** a few months ago, and I'm following **Marriage For A Million** by **missyshirayuki15** , so I'm feeling a little inspired. As for the vampires' abilities in this story, they'll be revealed in full as the plot progresses!

 **Kevvy Talks** , you're right, it's hard for me to turn off one mood and then go with another as I write this story. So while I have every intention to finish this, I'm not sure how often I'll be updating it because I don't want it to get sucked into a dark theme. Thank you for your support! I didn't delete those reviews because by the time I saw them, they were already carrying a conversation. I don't want to censor people. I do like using the "other woman" trope, and I just find that, for the reasons you've said, Orihime fits in well with that.

Thanks so much, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


	4. All The Men

_This is fucking awesome._

Ichigo thought, proudly, that his life was _fucking awesome_.

Since the Kurosaki clinic served patients on an emergency-only basis, business was dependent on how unfortunate Karakura townsfolk were for the day. Luckily for its orange-haired chief doctor, today was an exceptionally slow one. After Jushiro left, no one else came by except for a young boy accompanied by his mother in the afternoon who needed to be treated for minor abrasions after he fell off his bike. It should have been a boring, almost ritualistic walk-in for Ichigo to get through.

Unsurprisingly, it was difficult to concentrate with Rukia in a nurse outfit just an arm's length away.

If he really wanted to, he could reach out and pull her into a crushing kiss.

 _Nah_.

Too inappropriate.

He patched up the kid properly, but it was a less than stellar job. Not like the mom seemed to mind though. If anything, the poor lady seemed to know exactly why Ichigo was so distracted. As soon as she herself entered the clinic with her son, her jaw dropped at the sight of Rukia.

The vampire in disguise was really something to gawk at. With pale skin reminiscent of the moon's glow, the blushing pink of the nurse's uniform (that the Kurosakis had in storage just in case they wanted to hire help) suited Rukia to an almost criminal perfection. Long, midnight hair cascaded down her back and every motion of those pitch black waves brought Ichigo's attention to the most stunning pair of jewel-toned seas that gazed with affection. He thought she looked like royalty.

But rather than a crown, a nurse's cap would have to do for now.

On top of her pleasant features, the sexual tension in the air was impossible to ignore. Every time Rukia "accidentally" brushed up against her pseudo-boss, Ichigo would drop the bandages he was trying to wrap around the boy's knees or bite his lip in such a way that it was a wonder how he didn't bust it right open. Plus, Rukia's too-familiar-for-just-an-employee way of addressing her supposed boss was suspicious. Although Ichigo knew that his patient's mother was had a million questions at the back of her head, he didn't care to hide any of the telltale signs of his and his new wife's relationship.

It was difficult to care about anything or anyone else with Rukia around.

When the kid and his mother left, Ichigo let out a drawn-out sigh.

'What's wrong, Ichigo?'

The clinician tilted his head to acknowledge that he had heard Rukia. Their eyes met, and he couldn't help but smile at her. She gave him a small smile back, though the uncertainty in her gaze exposed how nervous she was about what was going on in his head.

'Nothing's wrong.' he answered. 'It's just hard to concentrate when you're around me.'

'Oh...'

'That's a good thing!' he exclaimed. He forgot that she didn't seem to understand implications. He wondered if all vampires were as dense as she was. Not that he minded, though. He thought that it added to her charm. 'It's hard to concentrate with you around because I can only focus on you. You're just...' Beautiful? Why couldn't he get himself to say it even though it couldn't be more true? His heart was beating a mile a minute and he wasn't sure he had enough blood rushing to his brain for it to function properly. 'You're great, Rukia.'

That pleased her. She smiled sweetly, and her cheeks flushed prettily with the most flattering shade of pink.

'A-Anyway...' he whipped his head way from her because his own face burned with boyish delight. 'Thanks for your help. I'm glad that today isn't so busy, though. I don't want you to have a lot of work to do.'

'Darling...' she cooed, and his groin jumped for joy. 'I'm always going to help you from now on. It's my duty to you as your wife.'

As much as he'd love for that to be true, he knows that the idea of her staying with him for all eternity as his actual wife was outrageous. After all, she wasn't even human. _Again_ , not that he minded, but after that crash course on supernatural history that Renji gave earlier on in the day, Ichigo was sure that there were going to be heavy consequences if he continued on with Rukia.

What's more is that Ichigo didn't take marriage lightly. It was humiliating, almost, how he often fantasized about getting married in front of the altar with the love of his life dressed in white.

Even though Rukia was lovely in a white sundress, it wasn't really what he'd envisioned.

He wanted _love_.

He wanted it to be meaningful.

As fun as this fling was, it was just that; a one-night stand with an attractive woman he'd brought home for brief, mutually agreed-upon adult fun. He certainly didn't expect to get hitched that very same evening to a strange, albeit interesting, woman.

 _Again_.

Not that he minded, but he had a nagging feeling that he _should_ fucking mind.

'Rukia... You know that you can't stay here forever, right?'

Her face fell. 'W-What? Why not?'

His expression was unreadable as he spoke. 'Well, the whole situation's just weird. I'm just a human being, and I didn't even know that I was proposing to you when I bit you... I just thought it was a sexy thing to do. I guess you could say that I was caught up in the moment. But believe me, I really didn't mean to get us into this mess. Besides, remember what Renji was saying? Your vampire friends aren't gonna be happy if you stay with me.'

'Ichigo...' she tried to feign composure, but it was impossible when her chest felt like something was trying to claw its way out of it. 'What are you saying?'

'Come on. You know what I'm saying.'

'Is what you're saying what you want?' she whispered sadly. 'Do you want me to leave you? I will, if you want me to.'

He tried taking her hand in his, but she moved away from his touch. That stung way more than it should have. His scowl deepened, and there was no way for him to disguise the visible pain in his eyes of being rejected by this woman. For some unknown reason, he had already built an emotional connection with her. However small it was, it was still there. The more he fought to suppress it, the harder it hit him right back. 'I don't want you to leave, Rukia. I'm just saying that maybe you should.'

'Says who?'

'Says Renji. Says your vampire people. Says apparent centuries of distaste between your people and mine.'

'But what do _we_ say?'

'That doesn't matter.' he rubbed the back of his neck because this conversation was turning out to be more difficult than he anticipated it would be.

'Of course it matters! We're the ones who have to live with what we decide to do!'

'Just think about our situation for a second... Does any of this makes sense?'

'It does to me.' she jutted her chin out proudly. He chuckled at her endearing defiance, and her heart fluttered seeing as she had pleased him. When she spoke again, her voice was lower and more serious. 'I feel a lot of things for you, Ichigo, and I know I'll regret it forever if I don't act on them.'

'It's not that I don't feel things for you...' he reached for her hand again, and this time, she allowed him to take it. Emotional blues flew up to meet his passionately half-lidded gaze, and he thought for sure that he'd pass out from the deafening pounding of his heart. He thought it was going to punch out of his chest at any second now. He might as well just rip it out and hand it over to this woman on a platter.

'So what's the problem?'

'We just met last night, Rukia. This doesn't make sense. No matter how much I like you, it still doesn't make sense.'

'I want to be by your side because you make me feel something that no man has ever made me feel.' she gave his fingers a squeeze before bringing his palm up to just above her heart. He could feel the surprising warmth of her skin and the steady drumming of a heart he was relieved to find beating. 'I know this whole situation is weird, but I don't regret a moment of it because every moment is spent with you.'

Overcome with something akin to connection, he brought his other hand up to her face so that he was now cupping both her cheeks. He studied her for any sign of insincerity, but there was none to be found. He understood her logic. Just because what they did was impulsive, irresponsible, and totally stupid, their feelings for each other still stood strong. Despite what other people may say, they were happy with each other at this moment - and that could mean that they could be happy together in the long run, no matter what they ended up becoming.

She had a good point.

 _Sold!_

He didn't say anything, so she took that as a sign that he wasn't buying her shit. With sad eyes, she began in a soft voice. 'I don't want to leave you. But if you want me to, I can. Thank you for the wonderful day, Ichigo. I'm sorry that I couldn't make you feel the same way you made me-'

Before she could finish her sentence, he pulled her into a firm embrace. Her face was pressed up just below his chest, and warm, muscular arms wrapped around her shoulders tightly. Paralyzed from shock, she could do nothing but experience the overwhelming surge of emotions that ricocheted through her in random intervals of relief, happiness, and sadness that this might be the last time he holds her in his arms.

When she finally gathers herself, her hands slide up his back. She inhales his clean, masculine scent deeply and it's surprising how much she enjoys the minty spice of his cologne. Her fingers dig into his back, like she wants to root herself to him. Tears prickle her eyes. She mentally curses the inconvenient human heart she inherited from her mother. How could she be so attached to this man?

His hands move from behind her to her face, cupping it again so that he can tilt her to look at him. Without further ado, he bends down to give her the softest kiss they've shared thus far. So soft, in fact, that the neediness of her humanity hums, wanting more of this miraculously therapeutic touch that he gives her.

The scars of rejection and loneliness she's suffered all throughout her existence; how can he so easily kiss them to calmness?

'Thank you...' she whispers against his lips. 'For these memories. I'll cherish them.'

'Sure.' he kisses her forehead and once more wraps his arms around her. 'Let's make some more. Memories, I mean.'

Her face lights up. She tries not to sound too excited. 'What do you mean?'

'You're right. I like you, Rukia. You're fun. You're weird as hell and I fucking love it. If I let you slip through my fingers... I'll regret that.'

She jumps up, snakes her arms around his neck, and pulls him into an eager kiss. He bends to lift her up by the thighs and plops her onto the reclining chair where patients usually sit. She lays down and he curls over her, not once breaking their kiss. She's gasping for air which he won't let her have. His tongue is relentlessly pushing against hers as though he wants to dig into her, and his lips are so bruisingly pressed against hers that their teeth click here and there. The kiss is sloppy and unchoreographed, but he loves every minute of their unpredictable wildness.

'I-Ichigo...!' she forcibly turns her head to the side to take in a big gulp of oxygen. 'My chest... My heart is beating so fast, I think it's going to explode...!'

'Well, _baby girl_...' he calls her by the first nickname he bestows upon her and she feels a tightness in her abdomen at her newfound title. 'I think you should see the doctor about that.'

She bites her lip at his suggestion. 'You're right. I think I _do_ need to see you, doctor.'

'Yeah baby, I bet you do.' he breathed hotly into her ear. He presses his body on her, his full weight against her like he wants to burn every inch of himself onto her. She feels the weight of his impressive bulge against her stomach, and she involuntarily gasps at the promise of an encore from last night.

' _Ah_ , Ichigo-'

'Ichi-nii!' Karin Kurosaki can't contain herself when she and her twin, Yuzu, walk into the clinic to find Ichigo with a strange new woman. 'What the hell are you doing?!'

* * *

'I've heard so many things about your sister.' Ulquiorra Cifer mused in his perpetual monotony as he strolled through the dead forest of the castle with the Captain of the vampires. The vegetation consisted of ashy barks and branches, not a single leaf in sight - which was understandable, considering that an enchantment over the lair ensured that no sunlight could penetrate the palace grounds.

'Good things, I hope.' Byakuya Kuchiki snipped. 'I do apologize that she is nowhere to be found today. As I am sure you know, Rukia has a terrible habit of running off.'

'She _does_ have a reputation for being a mischievous one.'

The nobleman winced at that. 'Believe me, though my word contradicts our current situation - Rukia is not a bad child. I believe that her misbehaviour boils down to a desire to find that which she feels she lacks in her current existence.'

'And what is it that you think she so insistently seeks?'

'That is...'

'A husband?'

Byakuya remained stoic, but there was a noticeable shift in her energy. His normally icy demeanour thawed darkly to reveal a glimmer of murderous fire. Offence had been taken from Ulquiorra's very forward suggestion that Rukia craved a lover, and Byakuya was not going to let anyone insult his daughter's womanhood like that. As the older man took in a breath for what was going to be the start of an enraged tirade, Ulquiorra quickly (and smartly) interjected.

'Do not misunderstand me, Kuchiki-sama. I wasn't trying to insult her, or you. It is a common emptiness that most sentient beings feel when they reach the peak of their adolescence; the need to be loved. You yourself found happiness in that with your late wife. You can't blame Rukia for wanting the same.'

'Rukia is not as weak as I was to give in to _love_.' Byakuya spat the last word out like it physically hurt him to say. 'She is a disciplined Kuchiki representative. I made sure to teach her from the very beginning that love is just another abstract concept developed by humans to rationalize their dysfunctional relationships.'

'She might still want it.'

'No.' Byakuya was adamant. 'She could never.'

'Therefore, am I to assume that my arranged marriage to her will be purely out of convenience?' Ulquiorra almost sounded offended by the implication in Byakuya's argument against indulgence in love. 'Would it not make you happy for me to make Rukia happy? Does love not make one happy?'

'Please.' Byakuya stopped in his tracks and so did his companion. The head of the Kuchiki clan gazed upon the younger man with wisdom that thinly concealed an uncertainty beneath deadly greys orbs that reflected melancholy from the perpetual moonlight of the vampiric sky. 'There are so many comforts of life that bring us happiness that have nothing to do with love. I am not saying that Rukia does not have the capacity to have a meaningful relationship with you as man and woman. I am just not counting on it. That is all.'

Ulquiorra scoffed. 'Well, I'm going to prove you wrong. Now that I've gotten your blessing to court her, I will make sure that not a day goes by where I don't plant a smile on her face.'

'You are quite taken with her, I see.'

'She's beautiful.'

'That, she is!' a third voice joined the conversation, and both Byakuya and Ulquiorra turned on their heels to come face-to-face with none other than Jushiro Ukitake; one of the few vampires who have decided to no longer feed on humans based on compassionate reasons, resulting in their group developing a relatively bad case of anemia. These non-feeding vampires gained a great level of respect from the vampire community due to their self-control. Though he would never openly admit it, even Byakuya was impressed that Jushiro was self-sacrificing enough to endure perpetual fatigue for the sake of human comfort.

'While I am pleased that a respectable man like yourself has praise for my sister, I wonder how are you able to make that assumption. If I recall correctly, Ukitake, you have not seen Rukia since she was an infant.'

'If you let her out of the castle once in a while, maybe I would!' Jushiro laughed heartily. 'You used to lock her up in there! At least now she's able to sneak away once in a while...'

Byakuya narrowed his eyes. 'What do you mean, Ukitake?'

'I just saw her, in the human territory. She was with her husband! Great guy, by the way!'

* * *

'We leave for a few days, and you get married?!' Karin was livid. She was overprotective of her brother and didn't take it lightly when he made stupid decisions like this. Although she didn't get a bad feeling from Rukia, the whole situation was just odd.

Was Rukia pregnant?

Or _rich_?

Hmm.

'W-Well...' Yuzu was trying to keep her cool. She knew that Karin could be a bit overwhelming, so she was trying really hard not to show how panicked she was inside. The last thing anyone needed right now was for Rukia to feel unwelcome or antagonized, especially if she really was Ichigo's new wife. 'Are you all settled in, Rukia-chan? You weren't here when we were around a few days ago, so I guess you're still in the process of moving in?'

'Oh, do I get to stay here? In this house?' Rukia wondered aloud, and Ichigo sank lower in his seat.

'Unless you guys also have a place we don't know about.' Karin muttered under her breath.

Rukia quirked a brow.

' _Look_.' Ichigo interjected, aware of how nervous both his sisters were at the presence of an essential stranger in their household. 'We all get off on the wrong foot here. Rukia and I married just last night. I didn't mean to hide it from you guys, I just didn't have time to warn you.'

'Didn't have time?' Karin fumed. 'When did you start dating anyway?!'

'Last night.' he stated blankly and he almost roared with laughter at how _absurd_ it all sounded aloud.

'Oh, so you think this is funny, huh?' Karin nearly punched her brother, but Yuzu did her best to quell her sister's rage.

'No, this isn't funny.' Rukia said solemnly. All eyes flew to her. The young (?) vampire felt a little nervous to have all the attention on her, but she forced herself to say all that she had to. This situation was getting out of hand. She understood the position of the Kurosaki sisters and she wanted to apologize for how hard this was on everyone. 'I'm sorry. This happened all of a sudden and I never got to properly meet you both before Ichigo and I married each other. That was wrong and I'm so, so sorry. But I've fallen in love with Ichigo and want to spend the rest of my life with him. I hope that you can understand that.'

Moved by Rukia's declaration of love, Yuzu was on the verge of tears. Though Karin was certainly more composed than her sister, she couldn't deny that she, too, felt a tug at her heart strings. After a moment's silence, she let out a loud sigh and continued. 'Sorry, Rukia-chan. I was just shocked, that's all. Ichi-nii's been hurt before and I never want to see him go through that again. I just hope that whatever's going on between you two will make you both happy.'

Rukia smiled, though she wondered when it was that Ichigo was supposedly hurt by someone in the past. Before she could inquire, Yuzu broke into the conversation.

'So, Rukia-chan!' Yuzu beamed. 'Are you hungry? To celebrate, I'll make you anything you want! Just tell me what you fancy!'

'No need to cook!' Rukia happily declared before she turned to her husband, wrapped an arm around his neck, and dug into its pulsating vein with pointed, glistening fangs.

The Kurosaki twins screamed.

Ichigo didn't even care anymore.

'Chill.' he told his sisters, but that didn't seem to help much.

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you to everyone supporting this story!

Thank you to **Amethyst hazel, RukiYuki, Kidzin, anon, Kevvy Talks, kleinegirl87, FlynnChan, IchiRuki 4vr, jobananasan, Zangetsu50, Notsae,** and the **Guest** reviewers!

 **Kidzin** , oh I'm sorry! I misunderstood you. Vampirism will work like an infection in this story, but not to Ichigo - and that will be the centre of the plot!

 **anon** , Renji's reaction was more about his selfishness at being beaten to the punch rather than the welfare of the vampires.

 **kleinegirl87** , yes, Rukia has been sexually active before with another vampire! Yes, she's fed on Hisana and Kaien. Renji wanted to marry Rukia "the human way"; through a proper, procedural marriage rather than neck biting. Byakuya is coming!

 **Guest** , Rukia never fed from Ukitake! Ahh thank you so much for your support, it means so much to me!

 **jobananasan** , Byakuya was hurt by Hisana and doesn't want Rukia to experience that same pain. On the other hand, he takes his unresolved frustrations with his wife out on his daughter as well, which isn't OK, but will be addressed as the plot progresses.

 **Zangetsu50** , yes! Please do. Thanks for your support and kind words!

Thanks so much, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


	5. The In-Laws

Byakuya's jaw dropped.

'Her _husband_?!' the head of the vampiric society seethed, his normally tensely straight brows scrunching together in feral disbelief. Byakuya was _furious_. He looked like he was just about ready to bite Jushiro's head right off even though the kindly man didn't have anything to do with Rukia's shocking gunshot marriage.

Jushiro had nothing to do with any of this and he was still about to get the heat.

Poor guy.

'Oh, I'm sure you know him.' the non-feeding vampire chirped quite happily given the fact that he was currently facing the bubbling rage within Byakuya. Ulquiorra could sense the raging heat emanating from the Captain just by standing next to him. It was a wonder how Jushiro could remain composed while there was a very real threat of Byakuya's impending eruption.

Just a random, fun fact about the vampiric world: There exists a group of cannibalistic vampires who are deemed to be too depraved to be allowed outside of their prison cells. Byakuya always thought that they were completely insane, the absolute scum of supernatural society.

And yet, Byakuya was seriously considering joining their ranks at this point in time.

Jushiro's head would look fantastic served on a platter.

'He's a really nice guy!' Jushiro's dumb ass prattled on. 'You wouldn't think that he has such a kind heart by looking at him at first, but he's so nice. Rukia-chan seems completely taken by him, and I can see why. Although I've got to admit, it's a surprise to me that you approved of their relationship considering his odd hair color...'

Renji.

Renji Aba-fucking-rai.

Byakuya's eyes narrowed. What a little shit, that redhead was. The nobleman always knew that the human delinquent had malicious intentions towards Rukia, but despite Byakuya's protests, she insisted on maintaining her friendship with that mortal man. Byakuya didn't strongly oppose that decision outwardly because his relationship with his sister was strained enough as is. He didn't want to give her reason to distance herself even more from him. Besides, Byakuya was confident that Renji was scared enough of him that he wouldn't try anything stupid.

Boy, was Byakuya wrong.

'It seems as though we've found ourselves in a bit of a sticky situation.' Ulquiorra intervened. Byakuya nearly jumped at the sound of his voice. He had actually forgotten about Ulquiorra up until then. 'Captain, I came here with the intention of asking your sister's hand in marriage... However, it appears that she has already given her hand to somebody else.'

'Nonsense.' Byakuya was quick to deny. 'Rukia has only been gone for a day... I am sure that there is a misunderstanding.'

'Nope, no misunderstandings here!' Jushiro laughed. 'Rukia-chan is happily married, and I'm so glad that she found a connection with someone special!'

Ulquiorra's brow twitched. 'Hmm... Strange. I thought that she and I had a connection when we were together months ago. Captain, I slaved under your command to earn the right to be with her, so what is this husband I am hearing of? You neglected to mention that she was seeing anyone.'

'I did not neglect to do anything.' Byakuya snapped. 'I am sure that there is either a misunderstanding, or perhaps the preposterous idea of Rukia being married is nothing but the result of a deteriorating, elderly mind.' he sneered at Jushiro, who palmed his chest to show that he was offended.

'Byakuya, I saw what I saw.' Jushiro frowned. 'It's not my fault that Rukia-chan isn't comfortable letting you in on how she's doing. I've been telling you for years to be nicer to her, and now look what happened. She's practically shutting you out.'

The flare in Byakuya's aura was unmistakable. Ulquiorra, sensing this, cleared his throat before excusing himself.

'If this all turns out to be a misunderstanding...' the soldier said on his way out. 'Let me know. Marrying your sister would be a dream come true for me, Captain. I hope to see her at the ball. I intend to ask for her hand in marriage that evening.'

* * *

Ichigo had no choice but to tell his sisters the truth.

Between Rukia's fangs glinting at their sharp tips and his sisters' screaming at the top of their lungs, Ichigo found himself between a sword and a hard place. Either he fessed up to what transpired last night, or Karin was going to call animal control to deal with whatever animal she thought Rukia was - his little sister was already halfway there, digging into her pockets and fumbling with the buttons on her cell phone.

So Ichigo rushed over to his sisters, took Karin's phone away, and demanded that they all sit down and listen to what he had to say.

Well, he only had three things he wanted to make crystal clear.

1) Rukia is a vampire.

2) He married her last night.

3) He was going to stay married to her indefinitely.

'So what now?' Karin scoffed, her arms wrapped around her body protectively as she lay on the couch with her sister. The two girls were pushed up on one end as they faced their brother and his new wife, who were seated on the same furniture, but opposite them. 'What do you want us to do, Ichi-nii?'

'Nothing.' Ichigo shifted in his seat uncomfortably. 'Just... I just wanted to let you guys know. Didn't want you freaking out, is all.'

'Oh, yeah, 'cause I'm not freaking out now, right?' Karin's voice dripped with sarcasm. 'It's not like I'm shitting my pants right now, huh? It's not like I have a _fucking vampire_ sitting two feet away from me!'

'K-Karin-chan, maybe we can just tone our voices down a bit...' was Yuzu's feeble attempt to calm her sister down.

'Ichi-nii, does she eat people?!'

'Of course not!' Rukia quipped like it was supposed to be the most obvious thing in the world. 'I'm not a werewolf!'

Karin's jaw dropped.

'O-Ok...' Ichigo raised his arms in surrender. 'Look, Rukia's basically harmless.'

'Harmless?! Ichi-nii, she bit your neck!'

'Sure.' he shrugged. 'But she hasn't killed me, so whatever.'

Yuzu and Karin exchanged disbelieving glances. When they brought their attention back to their brother, it was Yuzu who spoke. 'Onii-chan, you've got to understand how difficult it is for us to believe any of this. Honestly, I still think you're just playing a prank...'

'I almost wish I was.' he grumbled. From his peripheral, he could feel Rukia shooting him a worried expression. To compensate for his insensitive remark, he wrapped an arm around her waist and added, 'But I'm glad that it turned out this way. She's really nice, you guys... Just give her a chance.'

'Ichi-nii...' Karin began in a grave tone. 'She's a vampire. Asking us to accept her the way she is will be next to impossible.'

'Well, _I_ accepted her.' he insisted. 'I don't see why it'd be so difficult for you guys to do the same.'

 _Maybe it'll be easier if I had the hormonal imbalance of a horny, single adult man,_ Karin thought as she narrowed her eyes, but she held her tongue. She knew better than to get into it with her brother. It was already a stretch that he hadn't shut her out by now for her reaction to his new wife, but she knew that Ichigo was pardoning her outburst due to extenuating circumstances. After all, how many people could say that their sister-in-law was a dangerous, mythical creature from nightmares come to life?

Karin examined Rukia carefully with a scrutinizing gaze. The elder Kurosaki twin searched the vampire for a clue as to why Ichigo was so enamoured by her. Not a minute later, Karin decided that there was a magnetic chemistry between the couple that put blinders on Ichigo's eyes so that he could only see the world through a rosy, lovestruck lens. For whatever reason, there was a gentleness in Ichigo's touch as his hands held onto his lover protectively, to which Rukia responded subconsciously by leaning into him.

Karin sighed.

Rukia seemed to like Ichigo as much - if not more - than Ichigo liked her; and that was all that really mattered to Karin. She just wanted her brother to find happiness, and if that meant that he was going to stay with this strange, feral child of the moon, then Karin would bite the bullet and learn to accept it because there was nothing more rewarding than seeing her brother smile.

'We've got to do groceries anyway.' Yuzu cleared her throat as she tugged on her sister's wrist. 'Right, Karin-chan?'

'Mm... I guess.'

'So, Rukia-chan.' Yuzu faced her new sister-in-law with a soft curl of the corners of her lips. 'I know you said that there's no need to cook, but is there something you'd like to taste anyway?'

'Anything sweet!' Rukia happily answered before adding innocently, 'Anything as sweet as Ichigo!'

* * *

Renji raised the ring he was supposed to propose with to Rukia up to the sunlight seeping in through his window.

The small piece of jewelry was by no means spectacular, but it glimmered like an imploding star against the summer heat. It was a simple band of white gold, though he believed that despite this simplicity, it shone with the unique brilliance he often felt he saw in the woman he loved. Rukia was uncomplciated and beautiful; a combination that was lost in today's society. All his life, no matter where he looked, Renji just couldn't fall in love with any woman until Rukia came along. Human girls were vain and insecure, but Rukia was almost arrogant in her carefree appreciation of life.

Rukia was a diamond in the rough. It was too weird to think that she could fall for the brash, uncaring Ichigo, who walked through life without willingness to live it with vulnerability. Rukia deserved someone who would be able to present every nasty fibre of himself onto her. How could she be happy with only half a man? Ichigo withheld the very core elements of himself from other people. Why would he ever open up to her?

Whereas Renji... Renji thought that he had done a good job of being open and honest with Rukia. If, by being open and honest, he meant the fake, polished version of himself that he put on whenever she was around. But Renji was too caught up in his facade to recognize that he was playing pretend all along.

Truth is, he wanted to be a man that was deserving of Rukia, but he didn't think that he could measure up to what Byakuya expected of his sister's partner. So Renji thought that if he was tough-as-nails, that if he tried his best to show the vampires that he didn't give a damn about their rituals and traditions, he could prove to them that being human wasn't so bad.

Except, by being this big guy that he thought was going to impress their kind, he was losing his grip on humanity. He was selfish rather than selfless, boastful rather than humble, cold rather than warm... All the bits and pieces that attracted Rukia to him in the first place fell apart, and he unknowingly pushed her further and further away from him.

But even now, as she lay in the arms of a man other than himself, Renji could not see where he had gone wrong.

'Rukia...' he mumbled to himself. 'Why...?'

' _Why,_ indeed.' Byakuya growled as he conjured himself up in Renji's room amidst an ominous, silver mist.

'Captain!' Renji shot up from his chair, his posture stiffening at the sight of the feared vampiric king. The ring he was admiring fell from his grasp and onto the wooden floor, where it rolled to Byakuya's feet. The noble picked it up, looked at it for a whole three seconds, and scoffed at its simplicity.

'Seriously?' Byakuya glared at the human. 'You proposed to my sister with this?'

'It's all I can afford!' Renji pouted.

'Well then, maybe you should think twice before marrying my sister, a member of the well-respected Kuchiki clan!' he roared, fangs extending to an intimidating length. The redhead shivered in his spot. All the blood seemed to drain from his body without Byakuya doing so much as touching him. The room was cold, almost to a freezing temperature as it spun nauseatingly. Renji thought he was going to pass out.

'I-I didn't marry her, Captain.' he managed with chattering teeth. 'I was supposed to propose to her, but Ichigo beat me to the punch.'

'Ichigo?' Byakuya was taken aback. 'A strawberry punched you?'

'No, Captain.'

'Then what are you prattling on about?'

'Ichigo's my buddy, he lives down the street.' the bitterness in Renji's voice was impossible to ignore. 'He met Rukia last night at my house party. I introduced them to each other. One thing led to the next, and... Well, they're married.'

* * *

'Your sisters are so nice!' Rukia exclaimed as Ichigo held her by the waist to prop her up on his lap, facing him.

Yuzu and Karin had gone grocery shopping, leaving the newly wed couple to themselves. Knowing full well that intimacy with Rukia was going to be a challenge with his sisters back at the house, Ichigo decided to take advantage of any moment of privacy he had to his new wife. Even an action as simple as having her sit on his lap was something he was going to have to be wary of in front of an audience, so he thought he might as well do it while they were alone.

'Darling...' Rukia cooed, cupping his face in her hands. 'I'm so happy I met them - your sisters, I mean.'

'Mm...' he gave her a quick kiss on the lips. 'Yeah. That went better than expected.'

'Really?'

'Yeah. I thought they were going to freak out, to be honest.'

'Well, they sort of did.'

'Just for a little bit.'

'Yeah.' she wrapped her arms around his back and nestled the side of her face against his chest. She was kneeling, her knees on either side of his hips, so his hands travelled to the back of her thighs to steady her. 'I'm glad that you aren't ashamed of me.'

'Why would I be ashamed of you?' he whispered. 'You're-'

Just then, the doorbell rang. Surprised, Rukia jumped off of her husband. Ichigo calmly stood up, said that the noise just meant that there was someone at the door, and said that he was going to check on who it was. Rukia asked if she could take a shower in the meantime, and he grudgingly complied. A showering Rukia meant that the would have less time to spend with her while his sisters were away, but his pessimism quickly turned optimistically mischievous.

Maybe if he was quick to see who was at the door, he could join his wife for a shower.

Hmm.

Rukia ran up the staircase, and Ichigo's feet couldn't carry him to the door quickly enough.

'Hey, Kurosaki Clinic! How may I help you?'

'Good afternoon.' Byakuya greeted flatly. 'I am looking for a Kurosaki Ichigo.'

'Oh, that's me.' Ichigo responded nonchalantly and before he knew it, he was pinned to the doorway with a pair of sharp fangs mere centimetres away from his face.

'Nii-sama!' Rukia called from behind Ichigo. She had sensed Byakuya's presence on her way up the stairs, so she quickly darted back to the living room. Her footsteps were fast approaching the entrance to the household, where Ichigo's life was arguably hanging in the balance. Despite the horrifying situation Byakuya put Ichigo in, Rukia's tone was as chipper as ever, like she was blind to any threat. 'Nii-sama, I'm so happy to see you!'

 _Well, Rukia did just meet my family_. Ichigo thought miserably to himself. _I guess it's time to meet hers._

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you to everyone supporting this story!

Thank you to **MugetsuIchigo, blissbeat, Kidzin, Amethyst hazel, RukiYuki, IchiRuki 4vr, NaryaNenyaVilya, Notsae, Kevvy Talks, Zangetsu50, hinataellis, jobananasan, SaiyanWarrior200, NieveDrop, Shawn.17Frost, kleinegirl87, Mr.** **unknow, Celcees, FaeofLight,** and the **Guest** reviewer!

 **blissbeat** , thank you! Yes, I really am trying to keep this story lighthearted. I'm so glad the you enjoy it!

 **Amethyst hazel,** that storyline will definitely be something that I take into consideration! If I do use it, I'll credit you.

 **IchiRuki 4vr,** haha, I'm so glad you liked it!

 **NaryaNenyaVilya** , I love _you_ more! I'm happy that you are satisfied with Ulquiorra's introduction. I've been trying to make use of his character in a story for a long time now. He will be a major character in this story!

 **Notsae** , they didn't before you made that suggestion! But now, I will definitely be trying to think of some artifacts that they may use.

 **jobananasan** , Rukia doesn't' see a problem with humans knowing about the existence of vampires, so she's very blasé about showcasing her unique, vampiric qualities! Ukitake also doesn't see the problem with Rukia being married to a human. He values Rukia's happiness above any rule, so he thinks that Byakuya should be the same way. Ukitake doesn't really care about the rules, so he doesn't understand how seriously Byakuya takes them. There is a ritual, which will be expanded on in later chapters! Orihime will show up!

 **kleinegirl87,** Ichigo is not an ordinary human! Byakuya knows that Rukia's been sexually active before, but I'll be explaining in later chapters that this really isn't a big deal. Thank you so much for your support!

 **FaeofLight,** there won't be a lot of drama in this story. It'll touch on some dramatic events, but the tone will remain humorous! Thank you so much for your support! I hope to hear from you again soon! I'm so honoured that you took the time to read my stories, thank you so much!

Thanks so much, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


	6. RSVP

'You're not gonna eat me, are you?' Ichigo asked cautiously as he tiptoed into the living room. He was carrying a tray with three cups of hot tea; one for himself, one for Rukia, and one for their unexpected guest - Rukia's older brother, Byakuya Kuchiki.

The noble was seated on a couch with perfect poise. His legs were crossed and his back couldn't be straighter if he were tied to a metal pole. Just the sight of him was enough to turn anyone within a certain radius into ice. Nevertheless, Ichigo was determined not to allow himself to be intimidated. Despite Byakuya showing off his fangs a while ago, Ichigo brushed that behaviour off.

If Ichigo was a vampire and his sister suddenly married some stranger he had never seen before, he supposed that he would bare his fangs as well.

'Hey.' Ichigo pressed when Byakuya failed to answer. 'You won't eat me, right?'

'Of course not.' Byakuya snapped. 'I am not a werewolf.'

Ichigo winced. _Well, I know I'm never gonna mess with any werewolves..._

'Nii-sama!' Rukia interjected happily. She was seated in front of her father-parading-as-her-brother, but she shifted over to the couch he was sitting on after Ichigo passed the cups of tea around. 'I'm so glad you're here!'

Under normal circumstances, Byakuya would frown at her overexcited demeanour, but he was too pissed to care at this point.

Since the noble had taken Rukia back from the lifeless arms of his estranged wife, he was determined that his daughter not fall prey to the same human mistakes as her mother. He wanted so desperately for Rukia not to give in to the tempting passion of her emotions, so it was an absolute nightmare for him to find out that she impulsively married a human man with an outrageous hair color and a callous personality!

Byakuya was hard on Rukia because he wanted to avoid this very outcome. It was beyond cruel of fate to bitchslap him with this reality; and today of all days! Today, when Byakuya's finest soldier, Ulquiorra Cifer, expressed a desire to marry Rukia! That man had the balls to ask Byakuya himself for Rukia's hand in marriage. Alas, Jushiro just had to barge in and ruin everything.

Well, Ichigo ruined Byakuya's life. Jushiro just ruined everything else.

'Nii-sama, how do you like the world of the living?' Rukia inquired with innocent nonchalance. 'Isn't it so much brighter? It's so warm, and the sun is shinier!'

'I chalk all that up to the fact that world of the living does not have an enchantment cast over its skies to prevent the sun from quite literally _scorching_ its residents.' Byakuya snipped as he took a sip of tea. 'You know that pure-blooded vampires cannot step out under the sun, Rukia. I do not find increased exposure to the sun attractive, and thus, I do not see how that renders the world of the living more pleasing to be in.'

'O-Oh...' expressive sapphire eyes dulled and fell to the floor, away from the scrutinizing gaze of a father she felt constantly rejected by. 'My apologies, Nii-sama. I didn't realize...'

'Of course you would not realize.' he waved his hand dismissively, as if he expected her to not have thought deeply about this topic. 'You are not affected by the sun. You do not have to think about such things. Dark powers forbid that you think of anyone other than yourself.'

' _Wow_!' Ichigo mockingly howled. Byakuya's catty remark towards Rukia caught the clinician off-guard. It was totally uncalled for. Rukia was just excited to see Byakuya again, and the latter just had to flick her away like she was dust. It's not like Rukia was trying offend anyone anyway. She was just being her usual, happy self, until this stuck-up prick had to shut her down like she was a rabid fan asking for his autograph.

'Wow?' Byakuya mirrored, narrowing his eyes in challenge.

'Yeah, _wow_.' Ichigo repeated without fear. 'Rukia's so excited to see you, and you're being a total jerk about it!'

'I do not recall asking for your opinion on how I handle my sister's... inappropriately zealous nature.'

'It's not an opinion, I'm just calling it as it is! Rukia obviously loves you, and you treat her like shit!'

'Ichigo, shut _up_!' she piped up. Her unexpected snippiness caught Ichigo off-guard. Up until now, he hadn't seen any facets of her that took away from her one-dimensional image of a sweet, innocent girl who was head over heels in love with him - to the point where he never entertained the possibility that she could be anything but subservient to him.

Who knew that his affectionate lamb could raise her voice at him like that? He knew she could bite, but he didn't know she could _fight_.

He didn't mind this revelation at all. If anything, the discovery of these traits made her all the more human and complex to him. She may be a vampire, but there were human bits to her too.

He decided that he liked her even more now.

'Nii-sama, pardon my poor manners earlier.' Rukia said in a voice so robotic that Ichigo's heart sank. He was so used to her being happy and cute and sugary that all this sudden anger and apathy were difficult to process. Was this even the same girl he brought home last night? 'It will not happen again.'

'It should not happen at all, Rukia.' Byakuya accepted her apology. 'What disappoints me more, however, is that your human pet is ill-tempered. Perhaps you should tighten his leash.'

Ichigo's jaw dropped.

'He isn't my pet, Nii-sama. He's...'

'A chew toy?' Byakuya offered, much to Ichigo's chagrin. 'A doll? Arm candy?'

'He's my _husband_ , Nii-sama.'

Silence engulfed the room.

After Rukia's confirmation of her marital status, neither of the men dare say anything for the longest time. The trio's breathing could be heard in its uncoordinated rhythm. Ichigo glanced at his in-law, whose face was unreadable. Had Ichigo not known any better, he swore he would have mistaken Byakuya for a stone status some vandal meticulously painted over so that it would appear human, but it just didn't make the cut in the end.

Before they were lost in soundlessness forever, Byakuya burst out laughing.

'Oh, Rukia!' Byakuya exclaimed with more emotion than he's shown in centuries. 'You are too funny! Oh, my dear! How I have missed your humour!'

'You never liked my jokes at all, Nii-sama.'

'I am sure I did! Just listen to yourself! You are the funniest child!'

'I'm not joking, Nii-sama. Ichigo really is my husband.' she averted her gaze, craned her neck, and pulled down the collar of her nurse uniform to reveal a raised bruise where Ichigo had bitten her last night. 'He proposed to me and I accepted.'

'You cannot accept.' Byakuya's mood shifted back to one of total seriousness. 'He is a human man. The rules are different.'

'Well, you and Okaa-sama married.' she responded without thinking. Truthfully, she was pissed that her brother was trying to undermine her relationship and somehow make Ichigo look insignificant because of his species, when Byakuya himself loved and bore a child with a human woman.

'Wait, what?' Ichigo raised a brow. 'I thought Byakuya-' a vein strained against the noble's forehead with the unwelcome familiarity. Where was the _sama_ honorific after his name? '-was your brother. How could he have married your mother?'

'I just call Nii-sama my older brother because he's ashamed of being my father.' Rukia said icily. Byakuya gave her a dark look. Well, Rukia didn't give a flying fuck if her brother was going to crush her with the Earth's weight. She was so over it. She's always been over it, which is why she struggled to form a relationship with a parent who was supposed to love her unconditionally, but treated her like a curse.

She didn't understand why he was so up in her business. Shouldn't he be happy that she ran off and got married? Now he had an excuse to get rid of her forever.

'I am not ashamed of you.' Byakuya spoke slowly, but without feelings. 'There are expectations in our society, Rukia. You know this. Unfortunately, you... fall just short of that line.'

'Fuck the lines!' Ichigo interjected, earning him a sharp glare from both vampires. 'Rukia's your daughter! No rules or expectations should change that!'

'I told you to have a tighter leash for your pet boy, Rukia.'

'You fucking-' Ichigo stood up, but Rukia grabbed onto one of his arm's to hold him back down.

'Nii-sama...' Rukia whispered when she managed to get her lover back on the couch.

'You may be ashamed that I'm your daughter, but I'm proud that Ichigo's my husband. If you can't respect him... Well, you don't have to respect him. I respect him and that's all that counts.'

Amber eyes widened. Rukia just came to his defense, and he didn't know what to think of that. Until yesterday, he didn't even know she exist and today, here she was, defending him against her tyrant of a father/brother/whatever. Ichigo was so used to always being the one on the aggressive side of arguments, always being the one who had to defend somebody else. It was a strange but not unwelcome feeling to be defended for once.

'That man is not your husband, Rukia. I just told you that the rules are different, given that he is not a vampire himself.'

'So what?' she puffed up her chest proudly. Ichigo smiled at that. 'What do I have to do to make this marriage legitimate? I'll do it! I want to marry him! And he wants me too! Right, Ichigo?!' she turned to her husband, whose jaw was gravitating to the floor. 'Do you want me too?!' she pressed, her sapphire stare piercingly beautiful and her scrunched up, frustrated features giving her a haughty charm. 'Ichigo! Do you want me?!'

'Yes.' he breathed. As soon as his answer left his lips, his heart fluttered. That was when he knew that he meant what he had sone with utmost sincerity.

Byakuya was screaming inside.

' _Well_.' the vampire monarch maintained his composure. 'I am having none of this nonsense. I have already promised your hand in marriage to Ulquiorra, Rukia.'

Ichigo's heart sank.

'What?! No!' she looked offended. 'Nii-sama, no! Oh my gosh, he's so boring! He's going to bore me to death! Nii-sama, is that what you want?! For me to die?!'

'Rukia, for fuck's sake!' Byakuya lost his cool. 'He is not going to bore you to death! He is a nice man, and wealthy! I know that he can provide for you-'

'-and whisk me away so that you never have to see me again! He's going to kill me with boring conversation and then you'll be more than happy to dig my grave!'

'Rukia, stop being ridiculous!' Byakuya extended a hand out for her to take. 'Now, come on! Let us leave at once! Do not keep Ulquiorra waiting-'

'Nii-sama, I don't want to marry him!' she remained indignant. She kneeled so that she could reach up and wrap her arms around Ichigo's neck. The poor guy fell into a quiet spell. Thinking about Rukia being with some other guy brought to the surface so many emotions he never wanted to experience again. It was unheard of for him to feel so jealous and possessive over some girl he just met.

Then again, none of this was making sense, so he just accepted his feelings without question.

'I want to marry Ichigo!' Rukia declared. 'I want to get married to him for real, and there's no way you're going to force me to be with anybody else!'

'Rukia, be reasonable!' Byakuya was exasperated. 'Ulquiorra is a fine soldier, and you two were previously acquainted. You got along with him well enough, did you not? I have confidence that he is a man of outstanding pedigree. This boy you saddle yourself with, on the other hand, is less than impressive.'

'I'm right here, you know.' Ichigo groaned.

' _You_.' Byakuya's attention turned towards the human. 'Why would you even want to be tied down to a vampire, boy? You will grow old, and Rukia will remain young and full of life. Rukia has grown up in a completely different society from yours. If you are confident that that will not be an issue, then you are delusional. It is more suitable for you to find a human girl to be with. You do not even know _how_ to legitimately marry into our community.'

'Ok, you know what, Byakuya?' the younger man chuckled humourlessly and stood up. He was so over this imposing, arrogant, _dick_ insulting him at every turn and making him feel like insignificant swine. 'I know I'm not up to your standards or whatever, but you don't get to decide what Rukia does with her life. Whether you think I'm good or bad for her, you can tell her in a way that doesn't make her feel like shit. 'Cause at the end of the day, if she still wants me, then you've got to support that. Also, _don't tell me what to do_. I'm not answerable to you.'

'I could kill you right now if I wanted to.' Byakuya snarled. 'The fact that I am not doing so is proof enough that I respect my daughter's decision to some extent. However, at the end of the day, she is my daughter. I will not give her to you, or anyone, who I deem is not worthy of her.'

'Oh, ok, so somehow, _you're_ worthy of being her father?! You won't even recognize her as your daughter to your vampire buddies!'

From the corner of his eye, Ichigo saw his wife jolt in her seat.

'You are impossible, boy.' Byakuya's jaw tightened. 'I see that force will not work on you, so let us negotiate. Rukia knows that the annual gala wherein the vampiric aristocrats congregate is in a few days. Ulquiorra Cifer will be there. Give him a chance, Rukia. You once had a connection with him - do not let that go so easily. If by the end of the event, you decide that you still want to marry a human man, then I will tell you both exactly how you can legitimize your relationship in supernatural society.'

'That should be fine.' Ichigo rubbed the back of his neck anxiously. Byakuya just mentioned that Rukia had a... _history_ with this Ulquiorra guy, which made Ichigo more nervous about the whole situation than he'd like to be. Damn, what was wrong with him? Who cares if this chick didn't want to be with him? So what if she wanted to be with some other guy? He only just met her. He shouldn't be this attached.

But still.

He's already been hooked to the drug that is Rukia Kuchiki.

'It's just a night, right, Rukia?' he turned to his lover.

Rukia shook her head. 'Nii-sama calls it a gala, but it's really a getaway weekend. It starts on Friday with a ball, then is followed by another event the following evening, until Nii-sama sends everyone off on Sunday night with a formal dinner. Its purpose is to give the noble clans a chance to mingle without being bothered by their responsibilities as aristocrats.'

Ichigo's stomach churned.

So he had to survive a weekend with bloodthirsty vampires.

No biggie. No biggie at all.

'Does my proposal sound fair, Rukia?' Byakuya asked.

'More than fair!' she crossed her arms proudly as though she's won the lottery.

Ichigo sinks into his seat.

Doesn't he get a say in all of this?

* * *

'The Royal Banquet?!' Renji is appalled. 'Seriously?! How did _you_ get an invitation to the Royal Banquet before me?! I've known Rukia for years now! How-'

'It's not like I want to go!' Ichigo glared at the redhead, who had no problem shooting a nasty look right back. 'I didn't have a choice. Byakuya said-'

'And you call him Byakuya?! Are you serious right now?! If I tried to refer to that man as anything other than _Captain_ , I'd have my head served on a platter on top of some fancy parsley bed or whatever!'

'Don't be silly, Renji.' Ichigo snapped. 'Byakuya wouldn't want your head on a platter. He's not a werewolf.'

Renji rolled his eyes.

'Anyway... Byakuya said that if Rukia wanted to know how our marriage could be legitimized in their world, she had to attend that banquet for the weekend. Umm...' amber eyes averted their gaze, earning a raised brow from his companion. Renji could tell that there was more to the story, but he knew better than to prod Ichigo when the clinician was already uncomfortable. Best to wait it all out until Ichigo was ready. It would only take a few seconds anyway. 'Renji... Byakuya mentioned that Rukia had a thing with some guy called Coca-Cola-'

' _Ulquiorra_.' Renji corrected.

'Sorry. Ulquiorra. Yeah. Who, uh... Who is he?'

'Rukia's ex.' he stated bluntly. Ichigo jumped at that confirmation, but Renji was unsympathetic when he spoke again. 'What? You look surprised. You said so yourself that the Captain told you that Ulquiorra used to be with Rukia.'

Ichigo nodded but remained quiet. His eyes lowered and glued themselves to the floor. For the longest time, the pair were motionless in their silence. It was starting to irritate the bombastic Renji, who was already furious that his less deserving (if he said so himself) friend had more access to the important affairs of the vampiric society. Renji had been vying for an invitation to the Royal Banquet for years, hoping that it could underline how serious he was about pursuing Rukia. Unfortunately, Byakuya declined each request to be included in the guest list.

It was impossible to exaggerate just how irritated Renji was at the fact that Ichigo effortlessly snagged his own invitation, handed over personally by Byakuya himself.

Renji swore he thought he was going to turn green with envy.

'Hey.' Renji growled. 'What's your problem? Why do you look so glum? You already got an invite, no need to sulk like a schoolgirl who got a bad mark on her exam...'

Ichigo shook his head.

It wasn't that. There were so many questions running rampant in his mind. Who was Ulquiorra? How long was he in a relationship with Rukia? Why did they part ways? If Rukia used to date Ulquiorra, why was she so unwilling to see him again? Where did all her love go?

Rukia loved Ichigo today. Would that love disappear as quickly as it had come?

Ichigo shut his eyes.

These were all good questions to ask, but he decided that Renji wouldn't have the answers.

* * *

 **A/N:** Thank you so much to everyone supporting this story!

Thank you to **RukiYuki, Notsae, thethethe34, MugetsuIchigo, xErue, Amethyst hazel, Mr. uknow, Peachberrylove, kleinegirl87, IchiRuki 4vr, jobananasan,** and the **Guest** reviewers!

 **thethethe34** , thank you so much! That's such a wonderful compliment. I'm definitely going to try and keep Byakuya's characterization that way, albeit more hot-tempered than what I've seen from the series. Ichigo is certainly not an ordinary human. As for what exactly he is, that will remain a mystery for now!

 **xErue** , thank you so much for your support!

 **Amethyst hazel** , you'll be reading more romantic scenes as the story progresses! Right now, it's foundationless and almost purely sexual of a connection, but it'll turn into something more substantial.

 **Mr. uknow,** that will be revealed in later chapters!

 **Peachberrylove,** I'm glad you are enjoying the characterization! I was a bit nervous at first, characterizing her like that. But I thought it would be fun to try something different.

 **jobananasan,** even if Ichigo doesn't think it's so real, he still has to deal with all the problems that come with it! He might delude himself into believing in its reality, even though he was reluctant to do so in the beginning. Despite all the issues with marrying Rukia, he still wants to stay with her. Maybe that will allow him to realize later on that his marriage is real, and that he doesn't actually mind it all that much - so why change it?

Thanks so much, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


	7. Please Love Me

'Shouldn't you be preparing for the Royal Banquet?' Renji asked casually, trying to make it seem like the idea of his longtime friend (and not himself) attending the event didn't make him want to turn green with envy. 'It's tonight.'

'What's there to prepare for?' Ichigo shrugged. 'I'm busy.'

That was true - the clinician was currently typing in his patients' records, that were individually segregated into binders for each person, into his computer. He wanted to do this a long time ago, but didn't get to actually doing it because he knew it would be a time-consuming process. However, now that he was alone in the house (save for his unexpected guest) with nowhere else to be, he couldn't it off much longer. Knowing himself, it was either today or never.

'I don't know.' Renji fished into his pack of candy for another sugary ball, which he then threw up into the air and caught in his open mouth. 'You got a suit? 'Cause you need to wear a suit.'

'Of course I have a suit.'

'Alright. Do you have some leather shoes?'

'Damn, Renji, do you think I wear sneakers when I've got my suit on?'

'Dunno. Never seen you wear the suit, man.'

'You've got common sense though. I'm a professional, so of course I've got a suit.'

'Tch.' Renji clicked his tongue, but let that snide remark slide. The redhead couldn't quite place his finger on it, but Ichigo's been on edge ever since he learned about Ulquiorra's past relationship with Rukia. Quite frankly, Renji thought that his friend was being immature. Sure, it hurt Renji too when he found out that Rukia had a thing with someone - but that was over. Besides, it's not like vampires fell in love with each other the same way that people do. Once Renji understood that, he was at ease. Poor Ichigo was still in the dark, but Renji made no effort to correct this misconception. As cruel as it sounded, he was happy to let Ichigo's anxiety bubble. Serves the bastard right. Besides, Ichigo would figure it out eventually. It's

'Hey Renji...'

'What?'

'Have you ever met Ulquiorra?'

'Yeah.' he rolled his eyes. 'So what?'

' _So_... How's he like?'

'Oh gosh, he's _mean_.' Renji said without hesitation. 'He is _not_ nice. Complete asshole.'

'For real?'

'Yeah, for real.'

'Then why would Rukia fall for him?

'Other way around.' Renji flashed an awkward, toothy smile that kinda curved downwards at weird areas along his lips - like the reminder of Rukia being involved with such a nasty person made him cringe. 'Ulquiorra had a huge thing for Rukia, and at first, she was just being nice...' he trailed off and paused, looking up at the ceiling as if trying to remember. 'Well, I guess she _did_ fall for him eventually. But she snapped out of that real quick. I think she was just curious to about all that boyfriend-girlfriend stuff. He was her first relationship, you know?'

'How long ago was that?'

'Uhh... Like a decade ago.'

Ichigo's jaw dropped.

'What?' Renji smirked. 'Don't forget that vampires live for eons compared to us, dumbass.'

'Alright, so... If it's been ten years, why is he only asking her to marry him now?'

'He hasn't asked. He's _gonna_ ask. I don't really know the full story, but Rukia mentioned something about him saying that he'd go away and become a better man for her or whatever.'

'Did he do that?'

'If by doing that, you mean dedicating himself to serve her father to get some weird seal of approval, then yeah.'

'You know about that too?' Ichigo sucked his teeth. 'It's fucked up.' He was, of course, alluding to the fact that Byakuya wasn't actually Rukia's brother, but the man who helped bring her into this world.

'Yeah... Old wounds, though.'

'Rukia deserves to have a father who's proud of her.'

'He is. He's just... I don't know. Family issues.'

'Byakuya mentioned that Rukia doesn't meet up to his expectations. What did he mean by that?'

'Oh, for fuck's sake!' Renji let out a throaty, exasperated growl. 'What's with all these questions, Ichigo? You're exhausting me. Fucking _chill_. You hardly know her anyway.'

'Despite what you think, I actually really like Rukia.' Ichigo snipped, swivelling around in his chair so that his task-of-the-day was forgotten. Renji's features softened when he saw panicked, hazel eyes. 'I mean, yeah, it's complicated and maybe I'm being really dumb for going along with all of this... But I really like her and I don't want to lose her.'

'Oh my fuck.' he bit on his candy to give off an angry _crunch_. 'She's not gonna _leave_ you. Are you crazy? She's so into you. _Way_ too into you, if you ask me...'

'Sure, but what if one day, she gets bored of me?'

'Then don't be boring.'

'Renji...'

'Seriously, Ichigo - I don't want to hear it from you, alright?' Renji balled up his now-empty bag of candy and threw it at Ichigo. The plastic bounced off his shoulder and onto the floor. 'Rukia likes you enough to bring you to the Royal Banquet. That's _huge_. You get to be a part of her world for an entire weekend. She put a lot of faith in you, you know. I don't get why you're being such an insecure little bitch. Besides, human rationalization doesn't apply to vampires. What you and I think makes sense, doesn't make sense to them, so... I know you think that people should date before they get serious, but in fucking _vampire land_ , they fall hard and fast. Although, to be honest, even this is kinda a bit too fast...'

'Dude, you are _not_ helping.' Ichigo sighed heavily. He glanced at the work he was doing on his computer before knocking himself lightly on the forehead with his knuckles a few times. Renji almost felt bad for him - he looked like a defeated man. 'I'm freaking out. That stupid gala's tonight and I have no idea what to expect. You know, Rukia and I haven't even spoken much the last few days.'

'Oh, really?' Renji snipped. 'Last time I spoke to her, she mentioned very briefly that you idiots sleep in the same bed - what about those late-night conversations, hmm?'

'I mean, yeah, we talk... And it's nice and all, but we didn't talk about the gala at all. She doesn't seem worried.'

'Then you shouldn't be either.'

'Renji-'

'Ground rules.' the redhead conceded, his tone taking a serious turn. 'Do _not_ tell anyone you're human, unless you wanna be in a really bad situation. Don't piss off the Captain, don't flirt with other girls, don't lose your shit with Ulquiorra, and most of all, stay away from the werewolves. Occasionally, a couple of mutts weasel their way into the castle to cause trouble. Don't involve yourself with that.'

'But Renji, you're not-'

'Ichigo, _stop_. I don't know the answers to your questions and it's pissing me off that you're even in a position to ask these questions.' Renji fumed, but rubbed the back of his neck to calm himself down. He couldn't lose his shit now. 'Listen, I know you're freaking out... But keep it together, alright? To be honest, I'm not into the whole idea of you and Rukia being together... But you're both my friends so I want you guys to get through this in one piece. Rukia's the type of person to shoulder everything by herself, so if you show her that you're worried, she'll fake her confidence just to make you feel better.'

'You're right.' the clinician cleared his throat and stood up. 'Anyway... I guess that means I have to take a shower and put on the damn suit.'

* * *

'Is everything alright in there?' Karin knocked on the door of the dressing room where Rukia was trying on some gowns in. The elder Kurosaki twin accompanied her (almost) sister-in-law to the Karakura shopping centre to help her pick out an ensemble for some gala that she had to go to in the underworld or something.

 _Ugh._

It all sounded so crazy, but Karin was determined not to let this faze her. She had enough problems in her life as is and quite frankly didn't have the energy to get invested in all the nonsense that her brother was trying to suck her into. It was so like Ichigo to just run off and get married to a demon. Though laughable, Karin couldn't say that she couldn't believe it. Ichigo always had a knack for getting into trouble. This incident just happens to take the cake.

'Rukia-chan?'

'Sorry! I'm just having a little trouble with the back zipper.' Rukia called.

'Need help?'

'I'm good... Almost... _There_!' the vampire laughed happily. Not even a second later, she waltzed out of the dressing room to a pleasantly surprised Karin.

'Wow.' the elder of the Kurosaki twins nodded slowly as her eyes scanned the petite woman up and down. 'That's a nice number.'

Rukia was wearing a long, white gown that barely revealed any skin as it featured long sleeves and a turtleneck. Unexpectedly, the whole ensemble was _tight_. _Really_ tight. Not in a vulgar, unsightly way, but in a surprising way since Rukia never opted for tight clothing. Oddly enough, it suited her as it highlighted the most sensual parts of her body that were harder to appreciate when hidden in her usual, loose attire. The fabric was plain and pure and boasted a slight sheen like fresh snow out in the sun a day too early for winter. The shoulders were padded in a strict, angular cut so that her shoulders looked broader and thus, the narrow diameter of her waist was exaggerated.

'I like it.' Rukia announced proudly.

 _Who wouldn't like it on you?_ Karin thought with a smile.

'What do you think, Karin-chan?'

'It's nice. You look really pretty in it.'

'Great! Let me just take it off.' she turned around to head back into the changing room.

'Sure.'

When Rukia reemerged with the gown on-hand, she gestured to Karin to head over to the cashier with her. The human girl followed and reached into her purse; an act that Rukia found suspicious.

'What are you looking for?'

'Just this.' Karin said as she retrieved a credit card from her bag. Before her companion could say anything else, the taller girl grabbed the dress and handed it to the employee working the register. Rukia tried to protest, but Karin quickly handed the card over to the woman handling the sale.

'Karin-chan-'

'Relax. It's Ichi-nii's. He's paying.'

'I'm still not fine with that.' there was a hint of aggression in the noble's tone.

'Rukia-chan, he gave this card to me with specific instructions. He's not gonna let you pay for anything. Yuzu and I work, but he still won't let us pitch in. What more of you? You're his wife.'

'Even so, I don't want him to pay for me!'

'Rukia-chan... Come on.' Karin was starting to feel awkward. She didn't want to be in this position. Rukia was obviously angry, but Ichigo would be angrier if his sister let his wife pay. Karin took a paper bag with the gown inside it from the cashier before heading out of the shop with Rukia.

'Seriously, I don't want him to pay for everything!' she insisted. 'That's so unfair! I should be the one giving him money since I just barged into his life.'

'Trust me, Ichi-nii's glad you're around.'

'Even so, I can't help but feel I'm burdening him...' she trailed off. At those words, saddening blue eyes fell to the floor. 'First, he gets a wife he never really asked for. Now he's paying for me too... It just feels so wrong.'

Karin held her breath. Rukia was opening up, and the mortal didn't want to drive her away. Karin took all matters concerning to her brother very seriously, so she saw this as an opportunity to investigate just how sincere Rukia's feelings were towards him.

'You know, Ichigo and I haven't spoken much since Nii-sama visited. Sorry that he didn't stay long enough for you and Yuzu-chan to meet him, by the way.'

'No worries. It might have been too much for Ichi-nii to handle anyway. As for him not talking to you, what do you mean by that?'

Rukia sucked in a shaky breath. 'I mean, he's nice to me, but he's thinking about something. There's a faraway look in his eyes and I know that means I have to back off. I make small conversation here and there, but I know he wants to be left alone. I don't want to impose any more than I already have.'

'You came into our lives unexpectedly, but trust me - Ichi-nii's glad you're around.'

'For now.'

'Eh?'

'He's glad now. But as things become more serious, he might withdraw from me. Just like now... After Nii-sama showed up, we haven't been as close.'

'He just needs time.'

'I know. But every moment he spends away from me, I just want to be by his side even more. I want to comfort him but I don't know how. I just tell him that I'm around if he ever needs to talk, but he hasn't opened up to me yet.'

'Trust me, Rukia-chan; just offering a listening ear means so much to him. I'm sure of it.'

'I just want him to feel better. I have an idea of what he's thinking about, but... I don't know. I need to talk to him about it. I hate it when he's hurting.'

'Rukia-chan... You really like Ichi-nii, huh?'

'Yeah...' she smiled to herself. 'He's so sweet. He's tough in all the right places, but he's just a big softie. Oh, and he's so _handsome_! You know how storybooks glorify some prince charming? Well, he's more than that, he's like, he's like... Like a _king_ , don't you think?'

Karin couldn't suppress the big grin that played on her lips. Maybe Rukia didn't know her brother the longest, nor did she really know much about his life, but the undeniable fact of the matter was that she was utterly in love with Ichigo.

'Come on, Rukia-chan! We still have to pick Yuzu up from the grocery store.'

* * *

'Onii-chan!' Yuzu cried as she, her sister, and her brother's new wife walked into the Kurosaki household. 'We're home!'

Ichigo heard, but didn't respond since he was busy taking a shower. He knew that no one would be worried though - no doubt they could all hear the patter of the water against the tiles. It wasn't a big house.

He did think, however, to hurry the fuck up. The fact that they were back meant that Rukia had already picked her gown out for tonight. He didn't think that she was the type of woman to take hours getting ready, and he didn't want to keep her waiting, so he should really start moving along. Though Ichigo liked people to think that he didn't care much about what people thought of him, he was actually very vain. He liked his body to look a particular way, and grooming his face took him ages. Heck, he even tweezed his eyebrows - not that he would reveal that to _anybody_. But it was totally his thing. He needed to get that done, shave, exfoliate, _moisturize_.

Need to look fucking fantastic tonight in case Ulquiorra turns out to be a hunk.

'He can't be that good...' Ichigo muttered to himself. 'She left him, so... Renji said he was a cunt anyway...'

The poor guy was so engrossed in his own thoughts that he didn't hear the door open, or the shower curtains part, until the physical sensation of a small body sliding up from behind him startled him out of his trance.

'Ru-'

'Shh.' she placed a finger on his lips as a free hand palmed his chest. 'Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you, darling. You don't mind if I join in, do you?'

'N-Not at all.' he laughed anxiously.

'Mm...' she moaned quietly as the feeling of the hot water rolling along her skin soothingly quelled her aching bones. Her fingers glided to her lover's shoulders, where they kneaded his flesh expertly. Against his better judgement, Ichigo threw his head back and sighed loudly. Shining sapphires observed the muscles of his abdomen flex and tense with every magical move her hands made on him. 'You're really stressed, aren't you, darling?'

'Not anymore...' he groaned as his arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her to him. She went red in the face, but hoped that he'd think it was because of the steam rather than his flirting. She locked gazes with him. Smouldering ambers nearly knocked the wind out of her. Her mouth went dry and she felt weightless. She could only thank the heavens silently for his strong arms supporting her. 'Something wrong, Rukia?'

She shook her head before pressing the side of her face up against his chest. 'No... I just miss you. We haven't been this intimate in a while.'

'Ha... Sorry. I just didn't want to come onto you so strongly.'

'Ichigo, we already had sex. And you're my husband.'

'Not yet.'

'Ichigo...'

'But I want to be.'

She lifted her head up to stare right up at him. He met her eyes and kissed her nose.

'Ichigo...?'

'Whatever I have to do, I'll do it. Even if I have to spend a whole weekend with bloodthirsty vampires this weekend.'

She smiled and kissed his chest. 'Good. I know you'll be fine.'

'Hey, Rukia...'

'Mm?'

'This Ulquiorra guy... Is he someone I should be worried about?'

'No.' she looked up at him again. The sincerity swimming in blue was impossible to miss. It put him at ease. 'You're the one I love. I'm telling everyone tonight.'

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you so much to everyone supporting this story!

Next chapter will be the first night of the gala as well as Ulquiorra's first meeting with Ichigo.

Thank you to **RukiYuki, SaiyanWarrior200, Scarease, Janina, IchiRuki 4vr, Black Sun Upon An Icy Sky, jobananasan,** and the **Guest** reviewers!

 **SaiyanWarrior200** , that definitely sounds like something the Rukia in this story would do!

 **IchiRuki 4vr** , Byakuya in this story will be in a lot of situations where he may act strangely!

 **Black Sun Upon An Icy Sky** , thanks so much for your thoughts on the chapters, hope to read your comments again!

 **jobananasan** , Byakuya and Ichigo are going to be forced to interact a lot! In this story, Rukia is mentally more immature than Ichigo and the rest of the characters, so life hasn't really brought her down. She's still full of spunk and sometimes, that can delude her into thinking that her words are inconsequential. She tries her best, but as you'll see, she hasn't developed the social filter that comes with maturity - so her choices can brew a whole lot of trouble for her companions. Renji will have a lot of conflicting emotions. Ulquiorra will have his own motivations, but I think they are different from what you are thinking!

Thanks so much, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


	8. Disaster

Ichigo just learned how to get to fucking vampire land or whatever the hell it was called.

When both he and Rukia were dressed, they waited for what seemed like hours seated around the living room of the Kurosaki residence. Ichigo wanted to tell her to get moving as the Royal Banquet was about to start and they would be late, but he didn't want to seem overzealous about the prospect of spending an entire weekend in a vampire-infested castle.

'What are we waiting for?' he asked quietly, settling for a polite inquiry.

'A Hell butterfly.'

'A... What now?'

'There it is!' she exclaimed as she pointed to a black butterfly with purple patterns on its wings floating in from an open window. Her husband frowned, totally confused as to how this insect related to his upcoming trip to the underworld (?).

His silent question was soon answered.

The Hell butterfly hovered in front of the extravagantly-dressed couple, and with a wave of Rukia's hand, a senkaimon - wooden sliding doors that connected the human world and the Seireitei (an undisclosed, secret part of the Earth that was home to all beings supernatural) - opened up. Rukia stood, while Ichigo gaped at the unbelievable sight. His stomach churned. What the fuck did he just see? What was he getting himself into?

'Darling.' Rukia called over her shoulder in that seductively deep, singsong voice of hers. 'Come on. We're going to be late.'

'W-What? What do you want me to do?'

'We have to get to the gala.'

'But how do we _do_ that?'

'Ichigo.' she was losing her patience. Hands on her hips, she tilted her to the parted senkaimon doors as if it were the only logical answer in the world. 'We're going through here.'

 _Oh._

The walk through the senkaimon wasn't actually that bad.

The Hell butterfly strolled in front of the traveling pair the entire way, which took no longer than five minutes. They walked along an empty space of complete blackness, the only exemption to the plain scenario being a narrow pillar of light at the end. Once they got close enough, Ichigo realized that this glimpse of brightness was because the senkaimon doors on the other side of their journey were ajar. When they finally made it to the very end, the clinician felt a tinge of anxiety crawl up his spine. Without thinking, he reached over to his wife's side and wrapped a strong arm around her waist.

'Nervous?' she whispered even though they were the only people around to hear.

'Yeah...'

'I can tell.'

'Damn.'

'There's no reason to be worried.' she looked up at him, and he met her gentle gaze with smouldering ambers yearning for her approval. Almost immediately, his features softened. The pretty smile on her face was just the validation he needed. 'You're going to be just fine.'

'You sound so sure of that.'

'Because I know that they're going to love you. Even Nii-sama will come around. How could someone _not_ love you? You're kind and caring and so, _so_ easy on the eyes...'

He laughed. 'Between the two of us, I think it's you who's absolutely stunning tonight.'

Flattered but embarrassed, she stuttered for a few moments before clamping her mouth shut. Her face was beet-red and Ichigo chuckled lightly at how worked up she was over a simple compliment. He didn't think he said anything worth blushing over. He said she was beautiful, so what? She truly was. Despite her humble nature, even she should be able to recognize just how lovely she was in her powder-snow dress that glittered with every movement she made. Long, midnight hair contrasted the piece and the blue stars of her gaze shone with mischievous brilliance.

She _had_ to know how beautiful she was.

For some reason, he didn't think she did.

'Hey...' he gave her flank a friendly squeeze. 'You know that you're beautiful, don't you?'

'S-Stop.' she protested, averting her eyes from him. 'You're just trying to flirt with me now.'

'I'm serious. You _know_ how beautiful you are, right?'

She didn't say anything.

He sighed in frustration more than anything. How could Rukia not be aware of her charm? Although, he supposed that in the end, her modesty added to her appeal. Nevertheless, he felt the urgent need to shower her with praise stemming from his strong attraction to her. Being humble was one thing, but she seemed to genuinely not understand how she could be considered attractive.

The injustice of it all pissed Ichigo off.

She should _know_. She should be made to feel beautiful and wanted and loved. She should be strutting down the streets with her head held high because _she's got it_ and he'll be damned if he doesn't drill that into her stubborn skull.

'You're a beautiful woman.' he repeated. 'Not just how you look, but... You're an incredible person, Rukia. I'm sure that even amongst your vampire buddies, you stick out.'

'Maybe I don't want to stick out. I just want to blend in.' she revealed, and her eyes were sad. 'Whether I'm a vampire or a human being... I just want to be able to blend in. No more of this identity crisis. I really just want to belong somewhere. I want to serve a purpose to a community that I can relate to.'

'Well, maybe your purpose is to be the unique person that you are.' he countered, his voice deliberately donning a smooth sincerity. At his words, her gaze snapped up to him. Did he mean what he was saying? She sure hoped so.

Because if one sentient being could accept her, and appreciate her for what she is rather than what she cannot be, then the loneliness she felt could-

'Hey, stop staring.' he snipped before looking away, ashamed. Not that she made him uncomfortable, but the heat crept up to his face whenever he was faced with those doe eyes. Whenever she was deep in thought, her blues glossed - just like now. What was she thinking about? Had to be about him, right? Though he was confident that she wouldn't think negative thoughts about him, he didn't like it that she wouldn't just say whatever was in her head. She was so calculating - and _mysterious_ \- that way. 'Come on.' he let go of her side to take her hand in his. 'Let's get outta here.'

She nodded. There was no use carrying the conversation further than they already had.

Because in the end, the words he left unsaid were the most precious to her.

 _I believe in you, Rukia._

Together, they stepped out of the senkaimon doors and into what Ichigo thought had to be a fantasy world. Except, of course, it wasn't; it was the ballroom of the Kuchiki castle. Marbled floors were impeccably smooth and shiny so that the guests of the evening would have no problem floating across the room with their expensive, painful shoes. The pleasant mingling scent of wine and various perfumes wafted in the air, saturating the atmosphere with suffocating class. The newcomers scanned the room to see various cliques of humanist-looking people whose fangs glinted whenever they smiled or laughed.

Ichigo suddenly felt very restricted within the confines of his attractively tight suit. He tugged on the collar of his white dress shirt beneath the black jacket; damn, when did it get so hot?

'Rukia.' Byakuya cleared his throat from behind the couple. Rukia twirled around, flashed her father a rehearsed smile that wasn't too broad for his liking, and prepared for the air kisses that he gave when he bent down and smacked his lips together as he pressed his cheeks to hers. 'Pleasantly surprised that you have made it in here in one piece.'

'Why wouldn't I make it here in one piece, Nii-sama?'

'Well, recently, the werewolves have just been more mischievous than usual, so there have been reports of them sneaking into senkaimons to wreck havoc in the human world. I was worried, you see, that a werewolf might have stood in your path on your way here.'

'What's up with these werewolves?' Ichigo quipped, earning an icy glare from Byakuya. 'They sound like they'd be assholes.'

'Do not fret, they are not as terrible as you!' Byakuya replied with a tight smile.

'Ha, ha. Very funny.' the clinician answered dryly. Rukia rubbed his arm affectionately to comfort him, which only further enraged her father.

'So, _boy,_ how do you plan on fooling all my guests?' Byakuya asked with a tinge of amusement in his voice. He leaned in to whisper into his potential son-in-law's ear, to make sure that no one would be listening in on their conversation. 'Do you not think that at least _someone_ will notice that you lack the fangs to be with one of us?'

'Oh, Rukia and I went over this a few days ago. She told me to say that I'm like, a warlock or something.'

Pulling away, Byakuya blinked at the young man. That... That was actually a pretty good excuse. Witches and vampires got along relatively well, so though it would be unconventional for Rukia to date a warlock, it wasn't entirely uncalled for. Plus, magical manipulators evolved from humans in the spiritual and mental senses, so they never developed any physical markers of being.

Ichigo parading as a warlock could actually work.

Except for one teeny, tiny detail.

'Boy, what will you do if someone asks you to cast a spell?'

'What? Byakuya, who the hell's gonna ask me to do that around here?'

'Good point.' the noble conceded, defeated.

 _Damn it._

'Nii-sama, don't worry! Everything will turn out fine.'

Byakuya dragged a hand down his face as he walked away from the pair, knowing that only an impending disaster was bound to happen. His sister just brought a date (a "warlock") to what was supposed to be an all-vampire event. No doubt the guests will inquire about the sudden appearance of this never-before-seen, too-familiar-with-the-Kuchiki-heiress man. Throughout the entire weekend, said man would have to work round the clock to ensure that his secret identity as a human is never revealed.

No, everything is _not_ going to be fine.

'O- _Oh_!' Rukia suddenly cried out in a shallowly excited fashion. She was waving to a tall, lean guy with hollow, emerald eyes and marble-white skin. The man was approaching, and the corners of those snake-like eyes crinkled slightly so that Ichigo could make out the early beginnings of a smile that never fully formed. Ichigo couldn't help but wince at the stranger's appearance. Being the subject of countless unfair judgements from other people, Ichigo made a conscious effort not to be presumptive towards others, but _damn_... The man Rukia was waving at was one _ugly_ motherf-

'Ulquiorra!' Rukia laughed nervously once the mystery man was close enough to shake her hand.

Ichigo quirked a brow.

 _This_ was Ulquiorra?

Hmm.

Ichigo supposed he had nothing to worry about, then.

'It's been a while, Rukia.' Ulquiorra said in a tone so unenthusiastic, one could fall asleep to it. Faced by this seemingly non-threatening competition, Ichigo's jealousy had long quelled until Ulquiorra added, 'I haven't stopped thinking about you all these years.'

A vein throbbed on Ichigo's forehead.

 _I'm right here!_

Rukia's husband cleared his throat, earning the attention of his wife and her ex-flame.

'Sorry. I didn't see you there.' Ulquiorra lied. He recognized Ichigo from Jushiro Ukitake's brief description of Rukia's rumoured husband; the odd hair color was a dead giveaway. Never before had Ulquiorra's eye been caught by this vibrant shade of orange. At any rate, Ulquiorra didn't like this loud-looking man at all, simply for the fact that they were competing for the same bride. But Ulquiorra had to pretend to be a _good guy_ \- that's all Rukia used to prattle on about; finding a good guy. Good guys were nice, right? So Ulquiorra, even though he wanted nothing more than to chew Ichigo's head off, had to play the part of a kind, charming prince... A good guy.

'Well, you see me now.' Ichigo snapped, much to Ulquiorra's surprise.

Ichigo didn't seem like such a good guy either.

Why would Rukia fall for him?

'Yes, I do.' Ulquiorra nodded tensely. He extended a hand out, 'I am Ulquiorra Cifer. You are?'

'Kurosaki Ichigo.' he returned, completely ignoring Ulquiorra's invitation to shake hands. 'Nice to meet you.'

Ulquiorra's arm fell to his side and he forced a smile, which really turned out to be a weird mix between a snarl and a toothy grin. Ichigo shivered. It was so creepy.

'Rukia and I used to date.' Ulquiorra boasted, hooking an arm around the Kuchiki heiress and pulling her to him. Ichigo's blood boiled at that, but what really got him was that although Rukia looked shocked, she made no effort to tear herself away. She giggled uncomfortably and straightened her posture, but her previous partner's fingers were still curled around her waist.

'That was so long ago!' Rukia exclaimed. 'Can you believe how time flies?'

'Time has been _slow_ for me.' Ulquiorra looked down at her, his eyes softening so that even Ichigo could't help but feel bad for the guy. It must be hard to be in love with someone who doesn't love you back. Nevertheless, Ichigo considered that he should probably whisk Rukia away before he witnessed anything that would piss him off, but Ulquiorra's mouth was too quick to speak, 'Hasn't it been slow for _you_? With what we once had, I don't think I'll be able to believe that you were able to just forget about it, even if it _has_ been a while.'

'Of course I haven't _forgotten_.' Rukia appeared offended.

'Your new arm candy says otherwise.'

Ichigo's brow twitched. _Arm candy?_

'I'm not arm candy!' he growled. 'I'm her _husband_!'

'Prove it, then. Show me the mark.'

'T-That's...' Rukia trailed off and averted her gaze to the floor. She pushed Ulquiorra off of her and crossed her arms to stop herself from trembling. Ulquiorra was always a sharp one, and it would be disastrous if he figured out the truth. What if he exposed Ichigo? Rukia struggled not to scream at the thoughts of what could happen to her latest lover if he were ever found out to be human, stuck in a world full of bloodthirsty creatures who have been forbidden to feed from humans for centuries now.

Ichigo tilted his head quizzically. What mark? The one on his neck from where Rukia had bitten him? That _wound_? Sure, it was still around, but it was already healing. It would be gone soon.

'A mark?' Ichigo murmured. 'You mean when Rukia bit me?'

'I knew it.' Ulquiorra scoffed. 'You don't even know what I'm talking about. How could you? You're not married to the Kuchiki princess, no way. Besides...' he leaned in to whisper into the human's ear. 'You're not even a vampire.'

Rukia's eyes widened.

Chills ran up Ichigo's spine like the tips of frozen fingers. A lump formed in his throat, but he forced himself to swallow hard. Truthfully, the room was spinning and he felt like throwing up because he was pretty sure he was about to _die_ , but he had to play it cool or risk looking like a coward in front of Rukia's ex.

 _Stop shaking. Stop shaking damn it, stop shaking!_

'Well?' Ulquiorra grinned, pulling back to look into a panicked, hazel stare. 'Seeing you talk, I can't see your fangs. Because you don't have any, am I correct?'

'You're right.' he answered in barely a whisper.

'Ichigo.' Rukia warned, trying to diffuse this impossible situation.

'You're right.' Ichigo repeated. 'I'm not a vampire.'

 _Ichigo!_

'I'm a warlock, bitch.'

Rukia's jaw dropped.

'I'm a warlock.' Ichigo raised a finger to Ulquiorra's face. 'Watch yourself. Piss me off and I'll turn you into a toad.'

* * *

'I'm such a dumbass.' Ichigo grumbled to his own reflection in the men's guest bathroom of the castle's ballroom. He just finished splashing his face with cold water because Rukia all but kicked him away, saying that he had to "cool off"... Not that he thought he needed to. After all, it was Ulquiorra pushing his buttons. Although Ichigo acknowledged that perhaps he was being a bit overdramatic with his declaration of fake witchhood.

Either way, Rukia was angry. She accused Ichigo of misconduct; apparently anything less than perfectly polite was a sin under the watchful eyes of the nobility. It was kind of startling to Ichigo how his would-be (?) wife was so different around her father. Whenever she was with Ichigo, she was free and happy and impulsive. But if Byakuya was around, then she was frightened, uptight, and generally a severely diluted version of her true self.

Seemed like she expected Ichigo to be the same.

He made a mental note to have a conversation with her about that later.

No matter the circumstance, Ichigo thought that the greatest injustice was living life being anything other than oneself. Unless, of course, one was a terrible person - which Rukia wasn't. In fact, dare he say that she's the best person he's ever met and he thinks that everyone should know her for who she is.

She's great.

She should take pride in that.

He doesn't think he's the best person, but he's proud of whatever he is. And he's not going to let a stranger - let alone his woman's _ex_ \- tell him otherwise, even if Ichigo did have to parade as a magical thing to defend his pride.

'Toad, though?' Ichigo winced to himself. 'I shouldn't have threatened to turn him into a toad.'

'You threatened to turn who into a toad?' a tall, muscular man with strikingly sky-toned hair asked brashly as he burst out of his stall. As the toilet flushed behind him, this somewhat rude newcomer tied the sash of his loose, white pants as his totally unbuttoned shirt of the same color flapped with the movements. 'Sorry. I always forget to tie this shit until I see it from the mirror. Not that you care though, right? You're not homo?'

'Ok, first of all, very offensive terminology.' Ichigo frowned. 'Second, aren't you seriously underdressed? Everyone else is-'

'Boring.' he yawned, finally finishing the knot. He sauntered forward until he could wash his hands by the sink beside Ichigo's. 'That's how the vamps are. All cookie-cutter and tame.'

'Umm...'

'Except for that princess.' Grimmjow bit his lip. 'She's... _Mm_...'

'I will cut you if you say anything more about her.' Ichigo said without thinking, but the anger flashing in his eyes was impulsively real.

'Don't fucking threaten me.' the taller man jabbed a wet finger to Ichigo's chest.

'Don't touch me.' Ichigo slapped Grimmjow's hand away. 'These clothes are fucking expensive.'

'Did you just touch me?!'

'W-What?! Are you stupid?! You touched me first!'

'Now you're calling me stupid?!' Grimmjow snarled to reveal razor-sharp teeth reminiscent of a mad dog's. 'You better watch yourself in front of a werewolf, you suicidal bastard!'

What was that thing Renji said about werewolves again?

Ichigo tackled his newfound foe to the ground.

Don't ever get into it with the werewolves.

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you to everyone supporting this story!

Thank you to **Black Sun Upon An Icy Sky, NieveDrop, jobananasan, thethethex34, draven32, RukiYuki, MugetsuIchigo, LordDarkFluff, achalida, IchiRuki 4vr,** and the **Guest** reviewers!

Thanks so much, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


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